The Application Process
by Type-00
Summary: Fred and George have judged Malfoy and found him wanting. With the Triwizard Tournament about to start, and all eyes on Hogwarts, they decide to contribute by helping Harry find a new rival more appropriate to his skill level. From quidditch superstars to first year fanboys, no one is turned away from trying to rival the great Harry Potter.
1. Prologue

This was partially inspired by Rorschach's Blot's Odd Ideas. I can't recall which chapter specifically, but Daphne Greengrass had replaced Draco as Harry's rival. I decided to play around with the idea, and decided that the Twins would be the best vessel for mayhem, and that Fourth Year would probably be the best time for it.

The snippets are vaguely connected. I write them whenever they come to mind without regard for exactly when they happen in relation to each other. I'm sure that at least a few will be non canon for the story, but will be included because they're funny. I've got a number of chapters written already, and will post one per day for the rest of the year. The flow will probably slow after that, but I'll try to update this more often than Childish things, because of the ability to write whatever I want without having to worry about continuity and plot development.

Enjoy!

The Application Process

"Yes, yes, just fill out the entire application, both the general application, as well as the primary and secondary persona applications. If you don't fill out all of them, then the whole things is invalid. Take as many as you want! If one group doesn't work out, then try another!" The two red headed boys talked to a small gathering of students, with more approaching to hear what was going on, or turning in filled out papers. Harry hesitantly approached them, curious to what kind of scheme they had going on.

"What are the two of you doing?" He asked, unsure if he wanted to know the answer.

"Harry my boy! Just the person we needed to see!" one of the twins said, having him over.

"As for what we're doing, we're just making sure Hogwarts looks its best for the Triwizard Tournament!"

"Just what does that means exactly?"

"Well, as you know, you're quite famous." George began.

"Really."

"Yes, surprised us a bit too. Anyways, you'll garner more attention than most, and a lot of these foreigners are going to judge us by you and those associated with you."

"So, given that not only must you be at your best, but your friends and rivals too, we've opened up this little stand to collect and process applications for those positions. Auditions and interviews are to follow shortly."

"You're holding auditions for who gets to be my friends?" Harry asked in disbelief.

"Don't worry. Hermione's grades made her a shoo in for position of best friend." Fred assured him.

"Mostly because we need her help organizing this whole thing." George added.

"But sadly Ron had a bit of trouble with his, so he's filling out another one, trying to make himself a more attractive prospect."

"Really we just like watching him squirm, but you'd be surprised at how many kiddies want to take his place."

"And the rest of them?" Harry asked, looking at the now sizable crowd holding papers, ink and quills.

"Well, given how Malfoy is a stuck up, slimy, whiny git, we figured that he would be ruining your reputation a bit. If he's the best rival you can get, you can't be all that impressive, right?"

"So most of the applications are for your new rival and their own little cadre of companions. Mostly Slytherins, but more than a few Ravenclaws and a couple of Hufflepuffs are applying too. Some of them are putting in applications as free agents, couldn't convince their friends to join up or just didn't think they needed anyone else, so we've been building teams with the unattached applicants"

"You know, it's almost like playing matchmaker. We have to combine them into fully functional groups. Have to make sure that the team dynamics are there, and that there aren't any underlying issues between them."

"Romantic rivalries, blood feuds, that sort of thing."

"We want them at your throat, not each others' after all."

"Right..."

"That's why we got your bookworm to help us out in the first place. She's tearing through those applications like Ron through a chocolate cake."

"So how did you convince Hermione to help out? This seems like the sort of thing she would fight tooth and nail against."

"Well that was easy."

"See we went up to McGonagall's office."

"Dressed to the nines and everything."

"And we told her we had an idea to promote school unity and present a good front to the international students. We laid all our cards on the table with her."

"Well, not all of them. We had to coach it in terms that wouldn't give her an aneurism."

"And she gave us her full approval and extra credit to boot!"

"We just told Hermione that McGonagall endorsed the whole thing, and she could probably get some of the extra credit herself for helping out, and she couldn't get to work fast enough!"

"I see..." Harry replied.

"Not only that, but she's already drawn up a brilliant plan for a smooth transition from the Malfoy/Potter rivalry to the new status quo, and it shouldn't take more than a week for the majority of the adjustments to settle."

"Do you really think that Malfoy will just stop harassing me whenever he can just because he didn't get the position?"

"No, but that's why we're the best pranksters Hogwarts has ever seen. We're cooking up a few charms, curses, and other assorted goodies that will... encourage him to get his rocks off elsewhere. Can't have him interfering with your rival just because his ego got hurt, and who knows? Maybe he'll make the final cut!"

"Well... alright." Harry surrendered to the twins. It was probably best to let them have their fun and stay out of their way. If he interfered, it would probably only focus their attention on him, so bets to let things run their course. besides, if anyone could take care of Malfoy on a permanent basis, whatever trouble this stirred up could very well be worth it.


	2. Ron's Revelation

"Alright Ron, just calm down, and you can figure something out.' the young redhead said to himself as he entered a place no one would ever think to look for him.

The library.

Ron had been one of the first to stumble upon the twins application process, and had laughed it off, thinking it just another one of their jokes. However, when he came back an hour later and saw a sizable crowd of students surrounding them, as well as a stack of completed applications, he began to get worried. When he saw Hermione reading and sorting the papers at breakneck speed, he knew that it wasn't a joke.

Immediately, he fought his way to the front of the crowd, and demanded an application, but the Twins simply shook their heads.

"Sorry Ron, but we've grown up beside you, and you just don't have any qualifications for this."

"Sure it's fine for most days, and the biggest concern is Snape giving out detentions or Malfoy getting a laugh in on you, but the eyes of the world are on us now. We've got Quidditch stars, Veela descendents, and who knows what else cavorting around the castle, so Harry needs to step up his game."

"Sorry brother mine, but let's face it, you just don't have what it takes."

"I-I can come up with something!" Ron exclaimed, watching as his brothers huddled together and silently conversed.

"Well, you are family..."

"And you've been his best mate for three years, I guess we could give you some leeway..."

"We'll be taking applications for the next week or so, while the international students get settled into Hogwarts. After that, we can't make any promises."

"That's fine, I'll figure something out by then." Ron said, desperate to gain whatever information he could.

"For Harry's posse, there are four positions. The Boss, The Brains, The Beauty, and The Brawn." Fred began.

"The Boss and The Brains are obviously filled by your intrepid leader and the bushy haired bookworm over there, which leaves two slots open for you. Beauty or Brawn."

"Sadly, you're lacking in both of those. Sure, you're not the worst looking bloke, but you won't be winning any pageants anytime soon."

"Likewise, you're not exactly rippling with muscle. You're decent but not exceptional, and Harry needs exceptional."

Ron sighed, "Well, I said I'd figure something out and I will. I'm sure there's some sort of strengthening potion or Charm of Might somewhere, I just need to find it."

"Good luck Ron." the Twins choruses, earning a halfhearted wave from their youngest brother.

- - - - -

"Alright, so Fred and George said that the group had four slots, the Boss, the Brains, the Beauty, and the Brawn. Harry's the Boss, and Hermione is the Brains, so that leaves the Beauty and Brawn for me." Ron muttered to himself as he began browsing the nearest selection of shelves. "There were a lot of people turning in applications, so I don't have time to be picky. Whichever one I find a decent spell or potion for is the one I'll go with. If it's something I don't like I can always change it once this whole thing has died down anyways."

Ron continued his journey into the depths of the library, ignoring the glare Madame Pince was giving him as he noisily pulled books from the shelves and just as carelessly put them back after a quick look through. Shelf after shelf, and he couldn't find anything that seemed to jump out at him. Sure, there was probably something in "Five Hundred Spells I Couldn't Live Without," but he didn't have time to sort through all of them to find the one or two that could help.

Finally, Ron found a book that definitely had what he needed, but it wasn't what he was hoping for.

"One thousand and one tips to make your teeth sparkle, your hair shine, and the girls swoon, by Gilderoy Lockhart." Ron frowned as he read the title. He thought back to his second year Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and while he had proven to be a slimy git who couldn't hex a flobberworm, he couldn't deny that most of the ladies were smitten with him despite that, and he had done a rather good job of making a living off of being handsome.

Ron grimaced as he browsed through the table of contents, and realized that he would have to do potions work, since he didn't have time to master more than one or two of the spells, but gritted his teeth and sat down to read the massive tome before in in great depth and detail. Hopefully it would all be worth it.

- - - - -

It took Ron nearly five hours to get back to the Tower, settle into his room, read the entire book, and write down a list of ingredients for the dozens of potions he found that could be brewed relatively quickly. Unfortunately, his own stock of ingredients was woefully lacking, and the only place he could get them was from Snape's office.

Sighing, he made his way down to the common, room, where he ran into the one person he was hoping to avoid until the entire thing was over.

"You know, I don't care what the Twins say, you're still my best mate." Harry said.

"Thanks Harry, but they're right. I'm just dead weight. First year, the only thing I did was play a game of chess. Second year I got buried under a ton of rubble, and Third year you and Hermione managed to take care of things while I was sleeping in the hospital.

Heh, even when I'm trying to be useful, I'm useless. The open spots were for Beauty and Brawn, and I couldn't find anything that would make me stronger or faster or anything like that. The only thing I could find was a book of makeup tips by that bastard Lockhart."

"Ron, it doesn't matter to me. The Twins are just having a bit of fun." Harry tried to comfort his friend, but Ron shook his head.

"I'm not doing it because of the Twins. I'm doing it because I need to. I need to prove that I can pull my weight and help you out, even if it is something silly like this. You could always rely on Hermione, and I'm going to prove that you can rely on me too."

"Well, alright Ron, if you need to do this, then I won't stop you."

"I just wish I knew how I was going to pull it off. The only way I can get all of these ingredients in time is to get them from Snape, and I don' think he'll let me if I just say please."

"So you're going to steal them?"

"Looks like."

"One minute." Harry said before dashing up the stairs to the boys' dorms. He returned a few moments later, with bundle of silvery material in his hands.

"Take my invisibility cloak"

"Harry, that's your dad's cloak! I couldn't-"

"Like I said, you're my best mate. If I can't help you out when you need it, then I don't deserve to call myself yours." harry said, earning a smile form his friend.

"Thanks Harry, I'll be back in a bit." Ron said, and with a swirl of the shimmering fabric, disappeared from sight.

- - - - -

Ron crept his way down into the depth of Hogwarts, his eyes darting around in search of hidden threats. Filch or Mrs. Norris were the two he was most concerned about, but there were Prefects, Teacher, or God forbid, Peeves as well.

He managed to reach his destination, but it was there that his luck failed him. The door was ajar, and he could see Snape as his desk, working diligently to destroy the grades of non-Slytherins. Ron gulped, steeled his nerves, and slowly inched his way into the office. He took care to avoid making any kind of sound, until he was behind the greasy haired git. He carefully drew his wand, and pointed it at the unsuspecting teacher.

"Stupefy." Ron barely managed to whisper, before sighing in relief as the Potions Master slumped down on his desk, unconscious. As quickly as he could, he sneaked over to the massive ingredient cabinet, and began grabbing jars of whatever happened to be on his list, stuffing them in his bag. While he was quite satisfied with knocking out Snape and stealing his stuff, he wouldn't put it past the Slytherin Professor to suddenly rise, eviscerate him, then bring him back to life to serve one hundred years of detention, so he worked quickly, and got out of their as soon as he possibly could.

It took Ron three days of skiving classes and hiding from Filch to get everything set. Three days spent hunched over all the cauldrons he could borrow from his housemates, flitting from one to the other to make sure none of them would boil over, and frequently flipping through the book to make sure that he was following the proper procedures.

Even Snape, with his general distaste of Gryffindor, would have to admit that the young Weasley did an admirable job of monitoring the dozen or so brews at a time.

Before his were one hundred and fifty eight completed potions, with effects ranging from making his teeth so white they nearly glowed in the dark, giving him perfect balance, and making all bodily processes smell like roses and honey. The effects were wide and varied, but all sought to improve Ron physical presentation, save for two. These two took the longest to brew, and were the reason he had stayed awake and out of class for three whole days. The first was a mild love potion. Not enough to make someone throw themselves at him, or even come over to ask him out, but it did improve their attitude towards him and make them more receptive to him. The second drew attention to him, making people subtly shift their focus towards him when nothing pressing presented itself. All together, they would make for a potent combination to classify Ron and the "Beauty" of the Trio.

The book recommended not to take any more than three in a given day, and no more than twelve over the course of a week. However, Ron didn't have the time to determine which would most benefit him. It was obvious to everyone that Ron was not the Brains of the trio, and it was moments like this one that made it so obvious.

"...I'll just drink them all at once." And without any further hesitation, Ron downed potion after potion, hoping that the warning was simply a precaution and that things would work themselves out.

The suddenly writhing of his stomach told him that this was most likely not the case.

"Bloody hell..." Ron moaned as he dragged himself to a corner to ride it out. Hopefully it would all be over soon.

It wasn't.

- - - - -

"Well Fred, do you think Ron will show up?"

"Doubt it mate. We told him a week five days ago, and no one's seen him for three. He's probably hiding out until this whole thing is over with."

George sighed, "Too bad. I was hoping he would come up with something."

"You won't be disappointed then, I hope." a voice spoke up, causing the Twins to turn around.

"Ron! We were wondering when you would..." Fred trailed off, staring at his youngest brother. George joined him in his stunned silence.

"Something wrong?"

"Ron! You got HANDSOME!" George exclaimed bluntly, earning a perfect smile from his brother.

"I thought so too, but it's always nice to hear it form someone else."

"But- how did you-" Fred continued to gape.

"Lockhart might have been a slimy, idiotic git, but he knew his stuff when it came to appearances. I guess I should be glad he insisted Hogwarts got a copy of all of his books." Ron chuckled.

"So... I'm guessing you're applying for The Brawn?" George joked, earning a grin from the other two.

"Sure, why not. They say looks can kill, right?" Ron joked, and his brothers joined him in a round of laughter.

"Well, it's safe to say I doubt anyoen is going to beat you for the Beauty, though you might have trouble hanging with Harry. You'll probably have to fight girls-"

"-and guys-"

"-off with a stick!"

"I think I can live with that, at least until this whole thing wears off. I've got enough to last me a few months, and I can always make more if I really need to."

"Good to see you applying yourself, even if it was for something like this. I'm sure mum would be proud that her baby boy is finally accomplishing something." George

"You're not going to tell her, are you?" Ron asked, worried that Mrs. Weasley would react as she often did and write a scathing letter, or worse, a Howler.

"Our lips are sealed."

Ron sighed, "Thanks for that. Now I've been awake for three days, so I think I'm going to head up to the tower and sleep for a bit." He suppressed a yawn before staggering (gracefully) in the general direction of Gryffindor.

After Ron departed, the Twins looked at each other.

"Is it wrong that I think Ron is prettier than Angelina?"

"If that's wrong, then I don't want to be right brother. He is one fine looking man."


	3. Daphne's Angels

The Twins sat at a table in an unused classroom in the West Wing. They had cleaned it years ago to use as an impromptu lab for their experiments, and had only recently converted it into a pseudo-office for their latest project. Across from the fairly impressive desk they had transfigured for this very purpose, sat a dark haired beauty who coolly observed the room with a dispassionate expression.

"So Ms. Greengrass, you are applying for the leadership position of Harry's rivals?"

"That is correct." the young Slytherin answered, her eyes locking with the twins before her. Fred cleared his throat while George fidgeted slightly. It seemed Daphne had mastered the art of giving someone the eye, and it felt far too much like getting called to McGonagall's office for their comfort.

"And you have recruited a cadre of companions to fill out the remaining positions?"

"Also correct." was her short reply.

"As the leader, would you care to share the details behind your group? It will help us determine their individual merits as well as prove you have a firm grasp of your members and the group dynamics."

"Of course." Daphne answered, before drawing out a short report, and handing it to them.

"I'll begin with a basic summary of my three companions. As you mentioned that this was designed to promote school unity, I took the liberty of recruiting a member from each of the other three houses."

"From Ravenclaw, we have Padma Patil. Not only do her tests results consistently compare with Ms. Granger's, her twin sister is a member of Gryffindor, which provides both a source of information and an easy method of infiltration should it prove necessary. Naturally, she will be filling the Brains position in our group."

"Next up we have Susan Bones, from Hufflepuff. She is our Brawn."

"Interesting choice there, I would have thought she would be the Beauty." George interjected.

"While she is one of the more attractive females in our year, her aunt is Amelia Bones, head of the Auror Department, and as a result, she has received a large amount of extracurricular training and tutoring in self defense, dueling, and the like. She is far better suited for the Brawn position as our enforcer."

"And the last member?"

"Lavender Brown is our Gryffindor member, filling the remaining position of Beauty. She is well known for her attractive features, and she possessed a broad knowledge of beauty charms and treatments. This not only puts her far ahead of most other girls with her ability to maximize her presentation, but her knowledge could be applied to any one of us, thus enabling any of us to take up the role should it prove necessary. She also grants us a secondary method of gaining access to Gryffindor Tower."

"And finally, could you tell us about yourself?"

"You already know my name. I have consistently been in the top ten student in our year since coming to Hogwarts. While I am by no means the top student, I've studied a number of spell books, and I think I have a much broader knowledge of useful spells than most students in our year, which is far more practical than learning most of the overly specific spells we are taught in the classroom. I am also responsible for maintaining the peace in Slytherin House by keeping their various ambitions and egos from clashing too much. Unfortunately, a degree of subtlety and grace is required instead of brute force, so I'm quite adept at keeping people in line. While all three member of my team can be formidable in their roles, it would likely break down in short order without someone like me to keep things in order and cohesive."

The Twins nodded, impressed with her presentation. It seemed like Daphne had plenty of skill to take up the role of leadership for her team, without letting it go to her head like a certain blond snake often did.

"How are the team dynamics?" Fred asked.

"Well enough for now. There is no animosity between the members of my group, and we have engaged in numerous social interactions both to strengthen our ability to work together, as well as ensure there are no clashes of personalities to disrupt our cohesion."

"What would your method of operation be in regards to Mr. Potter?"

"Our current plans revolve around observation at the moment. Lavender is a major hub of gossip both with the Gryffindors and other students, so she has collected a large number of stories and rumors. This information is being sorted, and will give us a clearer picture of how Mr. Potter thinks. As he is the only constant known at this time, we will likely persist in this state or at the very most, engage in some minor conflicts to test our team dynamics, as well as measure the reactions of Mr. potter and his companions. Unlike Mr. Malfoy, a friendly or at least impartial rivalry would be preferable to his chosen methods or becoming outright enemies."

"Very good." Fred said, nodding in agreement..

"Perhaps a bit too conservative, but good."

"With respect, I disagree. In order to achieve maximum utility out of this relationship, it is necessary to carefully select a nature that is compatible and palatable for both sides. Striking a perfect balance will create a synergistic effect and encourage both of us to excel and reach beyond our perceived limits."

"My apologies." George offered, "The majority of candidates so far have not demonstrated such an in depth analysis of the rivalry position, so we were unprepared for your... preparedness. He finished lamely."

"It's not a problem, but do remember that I'm a Slytherin. Getting the most out of something is second nature to those of us with class."

"A few more questions, if you don't mind." Fred commented, refocusing the other two on the matter at hand.

"Of course."

"What do you have to say about your all female team?" George inquired., shuffling a few papers

"It will present a united front and prevent several problems that can arise from interaction between the opposite sexes. Furthermore, it allows us to coordinate efforts to confuse and disorient Harry that would be significantly less likely to succeed should males be part of our team."

"Seducing Harry?" Fred waggled his eyebrow, earning a sneer from the interviewee.

"Don't be so crass. While I won't deny that is an option, far easier to simply throw him off balance with flirting or the like. More extreme options aren't being considered at the time."

"Of course, of course, our apologies." Fred replied.

"Who would you say is your weakest member?"

"Lavender, without a doubt." Daphne said almost instantly, "She lacks the drive to further her education that Padma has, and doesn't have family connections to push her like Susan. However, I believe this will be a temporary setback, as any operations or conflicts with Harry's group will hone her skills and give her the drive necessary to exceed her current level of skill."

"What about the rest of you? What would you say your weaknesses are?"

"Susan isn't nearly as aggressive as I would like. She prefers to stay on the defensive, which drags things out and exhausts herself. If she would go on the offensive with her range of spells, she could end most duels in a few minutes. Given that her aunt teaches her to keep her safe, and her friendly nature, it's not that surprising, but it can be somewhat frustrating. As for Padma, she's a bit obsessive. She takes her grades very seriously, and Hermione has a tendency to edge her out slightly overall, either because of her excessive attempts at extra credit, or due to her slightly heavier class load. Padma can occasionally fixate on her and lose sight of the big picture as a result of that."

"And what would you say is yours?" Fred asked carefully.

Daphne considered for a moment. "I suppose I would say... my ambition. I like to win, and don't always accept failure with grace. I have, in rare instances, over reacted and lashed out as a result, which has caused some... minor problems in the past."

"Minor problems?" George asked, eyebrow raised.

"Such as?"

Daphne flushed slightly, breaking her calm expression. "...rebuilding the Slytherin Common Room."

"I like her. She's feisty." Fred grinned, earning a vicious glare from the dark haired girl.

"Would you like a demonstration, Mr. Weasley?" she asked dangerously.

"No need for that my dear. Just a bit of harmless fun." Fred managed to say, trying to placate the girl before him. George waited for several tense seconds for things to calm down before moving on to the next question.

"Assuming you are selected, how would you deal with Mr. Malfoy and his companions, should they be less than gracious with the loss of their position?"

"Draco relies too much on the power of others to augment his own, which leaves him vulnerable when he is not in direct contact with them. Suitable countermeasures have been devised, with worsening punishments should the message not sink in. Should he fail to understand the new order, we have several last resorts that should remove him as a factor for several months or until the end of the year." Daphne answered, with a look of boredom, "In all honesty, he won't prove much of a problem. He relies too much on his familial connections without realizing how gauche it makes him look to those of us with actual cunning."

"Excellent work. While we have our own plans in place, it's good to see you showing such initiative." Fred commented.

"Thank you."

"Do you play Quidditch?" George asked.

"No, and I have no intention to begin." Daphne replied, "Harry is known as a gifted Seeker, and his Firebolt makes it almost impossible to match him on any other broom. While I am more than capable of riding a broom, I have no desire to invest so much time and money to try and close the gap between us. I prefer to pick and choose my battles instead of fighting a losing one."

"Very true. It might also keep Mr. Malfoy out of our hair, at least some of the time. Allows him some interaction with Mr. Potter under controlled conditions."

"Very true bother," Fred answered, before turning back to Daphne, "What about your flexibility? Harry could easily add new members to his own group depending on how this whole process goes, or how things change in the future. What would your reaction be?"

The young Slytherin paused, considering. "That would depend on a variety of factors, such as who joins Mr. Potter's group and what role they fulfill. Without a clear understanding of what the exact change to the dynamics is, the only answer I can offer is that with members in all four houses, we will have inroads to all possible candidates for our own counter position. Within a week we could compile a list of candidates and choose the one most appropriate to our group."

"Do you think the inter house rivalries will be a problem for you?"

"To some degree, it's inevitable. The Houses of Hogwarts place an unhealthy amount of interest on the House Cup, and therefor, the rivalries between the Houses. It's quite likely that we will all face some pressure form our housemates to cease our associations, but I feel that we are capable of dealing with it, especially if it is presented in a positive manner, or failing that, met with overwhelming force." Daphne smirked, not so subtly touching her wand.

"Well, it seems that your paperwork is all in order, and I can say that your team is one of our strongest candidates we've received so far. We'll be in touch." George said, still studying the dossiers in front of him.

"Thank you for your consideration." Daphne said with grace, before offering them a slight nod and departing.

As the young witch left, the twins looked at each other.

"Her team is a really strong one."

"Definitely one of the best we've gotten so far. Blew Malfoy's crew out of the water, that's for sure."

"Still, there are plenty of other strong individuals. While there aren't any teams that can match up against her, building a team from the lone entries could be enough. Looks like we'll be up all night piecing them together, so they have a halfway decent chance against her."

George sighed. "And that's not even factoring in what she might do to us if she loses. She called blowing up her Common Room a minor problem! Even we never managed to blow up the Common Room, not even by accident!"

Fred paled, "I don't even want to think about what could happen to us, especially if she asks her team to help out. Susan and Padma probably know enough between them to scare off a dementor, and with Lavender she can get to us any time."

"Do you think we should let her win by default."

"Do you really think Hermione would let us?" Fred replied, causing his brother to let out a moan of despair.

"Who would have thought this would be so hard?"


	4. Dragonslayer

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy, I'm so glad you managed to make our appointment." Fred exclaimed, ushering in the blonde Slytherin.

"I only came because it was the only way to get you to stop bothering me! Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get anything done with the hexes you used on me?" Draco declared, roughly shaking Fred's hands off of him.

"Intimately. That's why we knew they were the perfect ones to use!" George laughed, "So you've had a chance to look over our rough draft of your application as we understand it to be, was everything in order?"

"Aside form some of your phrasing, yes, it was." Draco sneered, holding out his application, with a few minor revisions. "I've amended your mistakes in this one. I really don't see why you're bothering with this tripe."

"Most people are a bit more polite during an interview, Mr. Malfoy." Fred said, earning a sneer from the scion of the Malfoy family.

George sighed as he reviewed the application, shuffled a few papers before him. "Mr. Malfoy, you are applying to be the Boss, Brains, and Beauty, is that correct?"

"I am the heir to the Malfoy Family, of course I have all the qualifications." Draco smirked. "I command the loyalty of Slytherin House, thus demonstrating my leadership qualities, my grades are without equal, showing my intelligence, and the Malfoy family has always been a serious contender in Witch's Weekly's Most Charming Smile competition, revealing my desirability for all to see!"

"Of course. So Mr. Crabbe and Mr. Goyle are both applying for the Brawn position?"

"Correct. Naturally I could do it myself, but I had to leave something for them, and dirtying my hand with brute force is so inelegant." Draco sniffed.

The Twins looked at each other in disbelief, before turning to face Draco once more.

"Thank you for your time, Mr. Malfoy, but I'm afraid your application has been denied."

"Wonderful, now that this farce is ov- WHAT?!" Malfoy screeched, sprining to his feet in self righteous anger as the words spoken finally reaching his brain.

"Denied. Sorry about that." Fred replied.

"How can you deny me? I am the Scion of the Malfoy family!"

"Well, then I would say the Malfoy family is in dire straits, if the scion can't even fill out an application properly."

"What are you talking about" Draco demanded.

"Firstly, each position can have only one person fulfilling it. Secondly, you are one member short of a full group. Thirdly, your application as it stands now is far weaker than those we've received from other candidates, and filled with outright lies. What you have here is barely enough to rate you as a nuiscance."

"Lies?! A nuisance?!"

"Your command of Slytherin House extends to your muscle, and to a lesser extent, Miss Parkinson. The rest merely tolerate you, or in the case of the Quidditch Team, accept you for your generous, ahem 'donations' to the team." George began, taking a breath as his brother stepped up.

"While your Potion grades are without a doubt top of the class, you are tied with Miss granger and Miss Patil in that regard, and while the rest fo your grades are nothing to sneeze at, they are not that impressive when compared to several other Brains candidates." Fred continued, before motioning for George to finish.

"As for your alleged beauty, most women are repulsed by your poor attitude and excessive ego. While you may be considered a legacy in regards to the most charming smile, you have yet to prove yourself in that particular arena." George concluded, sighing in mild disappointment at Draco's results.

"How dare you-"

"Let's review your past record for a moment." Fred cut him off, pulling out a folder specially prepared for this occasion. "First year you challenged him to a duel, which you failed to show up for. You also attempted to get him in trouble for being out after hours, but ended up getting detention as well. Second year consisted primarily of failing to beat him at Quidditch, as well as generic threats about the Heir of Slytherin. Thirds year consisted of taunting him about his reaction to the Dementors, pretending to be injured for weeks to mildly inconvenience him and his friends, and spectacularly failing to impersonate a dementor. We could go on, but we have other interviews to conduct."

"You... you!" Draco spluttered in rage. "When my father hears about this-"

"You've consistently replied on both your family connections and Head of House to make his life more difficult, and hide from retaliation. While adequate for a schoolyard bully, once school is over, he would either ignore you or crush you entirely"

"You really think that Potter could accomplish something like that?!"

"Well, in his first year, he killed a teacher, the next year he destroyed his mind, and last year he survived a Werewolf and a serial killer out for his blood. I think the only reason the Malfoy Family and Snape are still around is because he hasn't been properly irritated yet, or because Dumbledore asked him not to."

"Your record is one of petty annoyance and failure, which is far worse than any of the others, which tend to be relatively blank slates."

"To be honest, you would probably be far more suited to be Ron's rival than Harry's."

"You think that blood traitor is worthy to be my rival?!" Malfoy exclaimed, earning dark looks form the Twins.

"Keep in mind you are talking to his older brothers, who would have no problem showing you just what a blood traitor could do to some inbred upstart." Fred

"As for the reasoning behind it, the Malfoy and Weasley families have been feuding for years, if not longer." George said, "Both parental figures have at least some influence within the Ministry, you have both exhibited a similar level of skill, and both of you can call on allies within the school."

"You have Crabbe, Goyle and Snape, while Ron has us and his younger sister, as well as Percy in previous years."

"Indeed. While you may regard us as blood traitors, the fact is both families are Purebloods, albeit with wildly differing world views. You both mirror each other in far too many ways for us to ignore, and applyign as Ron's rival would give you a significant boost in the rankings. While you wouldn't be Harry's direct counterpart, you could still be considered his rival in a loose sense, if the loss of prestige is what is concerning you."

Malfoy didn't say anything, too furious to use actual words for the moment.

"Feel free to reapply properly, and add in anything else you feel might be relevant. We here at Weasley & Weasley Incorporated are nothing if not forgiving. As we said, applying as Ron's rival would be a great way to fast track your application."

"Now good day sir." Fred dismissed him.

"You can't just-" Draco began, finally regaining his voice.

"I said good day!" Fred shouted with a dramatic wave of his wand, banishing the young blonde out of the room.

"Nice touch at the end there brother."

"Thank you, I thought it could have used more flourish myself."

"There's always next time. I doubt our Slytherin Princess will be content to just give up after that."

"True enough. Do you think he might reapply as Ron's rival?"

"Stranger things have happened. It would let him save face, especially if we keep rejecting him."

"Which we will. He really makes for a terrible rival."

"I couldn't agree more, brother mine."


	5. First of the Unkindness

Across from Fred and George, part of another set of twins sat. Padma Patil had arrived with her own stack of papers, and was even now sifting through them with a purpose. Fred opened his mouth, but a quick glare from the girl stopped him from saying anything. Padma continued for another minute or so, before settling the papers before her.

"Go ahead." she said. The Twins shared a quick glance, before George cleared his throat.

"So, Miss Patil, you're applying to be the brains of Potter's operation?"

"That is correct, Mr. Weasley."

The Twins exchanged another look, "You are aware that the position has already been filled, right?"

"By Hermione Granger, I am aware."

"Then why are you applying? Your application with Miss Greengrass is one of our strongest candidates, so why are you applying for Hermione's place? She has a proven record working with Harry for the past three years, so we see no reason to change things in that regard."

"If it's not broke, don't fix it."

"Honestly, this is mainly a formality."

"Just because she's been working with Harry for the last three years, doesn't necessitate that she is the best candidate. I am here to show that I am far and away the better choice." the Ravenclaw stated, daring them to deter her.

"Well, if you insist, we can't really turn you away..." Fred admitted.

"Very well then Miss Patil, since the position is already filled, what makes you think you can supplant Miss Granger?" Fred asked seriously.

Padma reached out and grabbed several papers from her own pile, passing them to the Twins. "As you know from my application, and can see here, I am ranked second in our year, only behind Miss Granger by the smallest of margins, and that is only because she is taking additional classes, boosting her overall score. In our shared classes, our scores are nearly identical, and I have edged her out numerous times in various assignments."

"Very true, but how does that qualify you to replace her? Your academics are essentially even, but she has three years of experience working with Harry."

"That is true, but by choosing me as the candidate, Harry will gain access to additional resources as well as broadening his potential base."

"How so?"

"While Hermione is indeed intelligent and skilled, she is a Gryffindor. She doesn't give him access to anything that he couldn't get on his own, aside from her intellect. However, s a Ravenclaw, I can give Harry access to numerous other academic minds in my house, as well as allowing him an easier time establishing connections within Ravenclaw House. Having easy access to twice as many people is reason enough, but as many regard Harry as Gryffindor's Golden Boy, and will assume he will use Gryffindor allies to accomplish his goals. Even if I were to join his group, that suspicion will enable him to utilize Ravenclaw without undue scrutiny from his rival. The ability to surprise your opponent cannot be underestimated.

Even without these reasons, by adding someone from another house to the group, it extends Harry's perceived allies outside of Gryffindor. I'm sure other candidates besides Miss Greengrass have extended outside of a single house, and if Harry restricts himself solely to Gryffindor, it creates the appearance of isolationism and distance from the other houses. While that has not been a problem in the past, as Mr. Malfoy's group was pure Slytherin, the new group will not likely share this weakness, and could turn popular opinion against Harry as a result." Padma paused, before passing another sheet of paper to the Twins.

"As you can see here, the individual applications you have received come from all four houses and the top five years. Likewise, most group applications contain at least one member from a differing House. While it is theoretically possible for you to construct a team composed of a single house, the likelihood of such an event is slim, especially as you have advertised the entire process as open to all. Should you show bias by selecting a pure Gryffindor Team for Harry and the other team solely from one of the other three houses, you're entire project will likely fail simply to uproar it would most likely generate.

As it is now, Mr. Malfoy has thrown numerous fits to this process, and it is conceivable that he could rally the neglected Houses into forcing a reassignment of teams or staging a campaign against the preferred houses. While I doubt he would be capable of instigating a campaign, should he manage, the focus would most likely shift from Harry team and their counterparts, toward their Houses as a whole, resulting in a school wide schism, dividing the houses into three camps, the Gryffindors, their new rivals, and the remaining Houses."

"Excellent points, every one of them." George responded. Fred nodded in agreement.

"We definitely will consider the extended consequences of team composition, beyond their direct impact in the rivalry."

"See that you do." Padma answered.

"Now, a few additional questions if you don't mind?" Fred said, almost nervously.

"Of course not." Padma replied.

"Assuming you manage to attain this position, what will you do in regards to Miss Greengrass's team?"

"While I would enjoy working with Daphne, I believe working with Harry would be a more rewarding experience, both personally, and in regards to how the school and others perceive me. I would withdraw my participation from Daphne's team if it came to that."

"What if her team is also selected?" George said.

"Needless to say, Daphne is well prepared for all potential developments. There are numerous other candidates within Ravenclaw for the Brains position. While I am the preferred candidate for her group, Daphne is aware of my application for Harry's team and has a few contingency alternatives ready should I be selected."

"Good to know. What is your opinion on Harry on a personal level?"

"To be honest, I don't particularly have an opinion in that regard. There is very little interaction between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor outside of classes and the occasional Quidditch match."

"So how would you propose to develop a relationship with him?"

"Most classes, regardless of House, are held within the same approximate time frame. This means that free periods are nearly identical, with a few exceptions. While the inability to interact during classes is a loss, it also prevents the development of interpersonal friction due to overexposure to each other. In addition, my twin sister is both a Gryffindor and in his year, which gives a perfectly legitimate reason to spend time in Gryffindor Tower and thus, with Harry and his group."

"How do you think Miss Granger would react upon being supplanted by you?" George asked.

Padma allowed herself a small smirk, "I think she would explode."

"And how would you deal with that?"

"I have studied numerous defensive spells, and while it may not be enough to overwhelm her, it will protect me long enough to escape her wrath or wait for a teacher to arrive and defuse the situation. I expect her fury would last for weeks, but as I have no intention of cutting her out of Harry's life completely, I expect it to wane over time. The key to replacing her as the Brains aspect of Harry's group lies in asserting my position while not isolating her completely."

"How do you think your sister would react?"

"I don't see how that is relevant."

"You spending more time in her common room, with her housemates could be seen as an attempt to intrude on her personal domain."

"I doubt that it would become a problem. Parvati and I have shared almost everything since we were children, and while we did come into conflict about such things on occasion, it never escalated to a dangerous degree.

Regardless, I intend to integrate Parvati into the peripheral group surrounding the core of Harry's team, much like the role Hermione will be relegated into. In addition, I plan to encourage her to spend some time with some of her other friends, as well as some of mine, thus averting any battles over perceived territory, as well as providing a solidifying experience to the peripheral group in both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, drawing both aspects closer to each other to create a unifying spirit of friendship."

Fred and George nodded for a minute, not saying anything.

"Well, is there anything else?" Padma asked, a note of mild irritation in her voice.

"To be honest, we weren't expecting you to be so well prepared. We're a bit overwhelmed."

"Would you mind coming back at another time?"

"Is this some ploy to deter me?" Padma asked, looking between them in suspicion.

"While we hadn't planned on considering your application seriously, you have raised several important points, and we will take them into consideration during the final review process. We simply need some time to process everything that has been discussed here."

"Thank you for the consideration. I'll leave a copy of my additional notes her for your perusal." Padma said, immediately rising from her seat and shaking their hands, before leaving.

"So... I think this just got a bit more complicated brother." Fred sighed, glancing at the significant pile of papers Padma had left for them.

"I doubt Hermione will be happy with this turn of events. I just hope she doesn't hex us when we tell her there are other serious candidates for her position. Padma aside, a few of the older students are trying for the same thing, and their advance spell knowledge could be a huge advantage. Most of them probably weren't expecting anything from it, but after Padma, we can't just ignore them."

"They probably won't find anything left f us once she finds out."

"Think she'll blame it all on Padma?"

"I don't think we're that lucky George."


	6. Humdinger

Luna Lovegood skipped across the room, looking eagerly at the various decorations and failed experiments scatter throughout in utter fascination. Fred and George watched as she picked up a variety of objects to closer observation, before just as quickly discarding them in favor of something new. This continued for several minutes, much to the consternation of the Twins, before she appeared to grow tired and sashayed her way over to their table.

"Hello!" she exclaimed happily, with an enthusiastic wave.

"Hello Miss Lovegood." Fred replied easily, while George returned her wave.

"How is Ginny doing? I haven't talked to her very much this year, or last year. Or the year before that. There's always something interesting going on at hogwarts so it's not surprising we don't get much time to talk to each other."

"Ginny's fine. I'm sure she's been wondering how you've been doing."

"My housemates say I've gone mad. I'm not sure about that. I've been acting the same way I always have been." Luna answered. "Maybe I've been Obliviated, so I've gone mad and I can't remember. Do you think I should see Madam Pomphrey about that?"

"Er... no, I don't think that will be necessary."

"Are you sure about that? If I've goen mad I should probably find out about it as soon as possible."

"Could we just focus on the matter at hand Miss Lovegood?"

"Of course, you wanted to talk about the Blibbering Humdingers, right?"

"Not... exactly."

Luna nodded, "If course not. Blibbering Humdingers are repelled by conversations about them. So what shall we talk about instead?"

"Well... how about Harry Potter?"

"Excellent? Now what color do you suppose Harry Potter is? Daddy always said that Harry Potters tended to be yellow, but I've read in the Quibbler that they've been known to be red or purple as well."

Fred and George stared dumbly at her for a moment, before realizing she was talking about the creature she had mentioned, instead of the actual Harry Potter.

"We meant the actual Harry Potter."

"Of course." Luna nodded in agreement, though it was hard to tell if she really meant it.

"So what can you tell us about Harry Potter, just to make sure we're on the same page."

"Well, he's a fourth year at Hogwarts, he defeated You-Know-Who, he has five wings, that make him spin when he flies, He lives in Gryffindor Tower, and he's best friend's with Ginny's older brother, Ronald." Luna answered, "Would you like me to continue?"

"No... that's enough for now." George replied uneasily, before turning for a hasty engagement with his brother. "Well, she's obviously talking about the Blubbering something-or-other, at least some of the time."

"I think we can work with this." Fred replied, "It might be a bit difficult to tell which one she's talking about, but I think we can pick up the gist of it."

"You sure about that? My head is already starting to hurt a bit."

"Well I'll buy you a dress and call you princess if this is all you can handle."

"Ha ha. I bet I can last longer than you can."

"Is that challenge, brother dearest?"

"Only if you're afraid to take it."

"What are we talking about?" Luna whispered, having joined in their huddle at some point. This caused the Twins to jump apart, before awkwardly coughing and trying to pass it off as if it were nothing.

"Miss Lovegood, please remain in your seat until the interview is over."

"Interview? I've never been interviewed by anything other than the Quibbler. How exciting!" Luna said, before scurrying back to her chair, nearly bouncing in her eagerness to get started.

"Miss Lovegood, you are applying for the Brawn position? Fred asked, still off kilter from her antics..

"Are you sure about that?" George asked, looking at her thin and rather gangly build.

"Of course." Luna answered happily, humming tunelessly to herself.

"So what qualifies you for the brawn position? I mean no offense, but you don't seem to be the violent type."

"Daddy bought me some enchanted steel toed boots. Whenever I try to kick someone, they seek out their most vulnerable parts." Luan said cheerfully. "Would you like to see?"

"Uh, no thanks." Fred replied, looking a bit pale as he imagined where they would strike.

"I also enchanted them to do the River Dance. I seem to have mixed the enchantments somehow, so now whenever I try to kick someone I end up dancing for the next five minutes as well. It's quite fun. I just need to add some musical charms to them."

"Right..." George said, not quite sure how to respond to that.

"Have you ever danced before George?"

"Not really. Too busy"

"Would you like to?" Luna asked, "If you'd like, you could borrow my boots."

"Please focus, Miss Lovegood."

"I'm not focusing? Do you think I have a Wrackspurt infestation?" Luna asked worriedly.

"I'm sure you're fine." Fred assured the fretting girl.

"Now, could you tell us you connection to Harry?"

"Oh, I don't have one. I don't think I've ever talked to him before." Luna said, her attention drifting to the side of the room as she tracked a dust mote. "But he seems a prime candidate for Nargle infestation, and I wanted to try and catch one for daddy."

"As a third year, do you think your lack of experience will interfere with working with Harry?" George continued, not letting himself be distracted.

"Oh I don't think it will be a problem at all. You said this position was all about violence, and my boots allow me to do that without too much effort. I've also been helping edit the Quibbler since I was nine, and you learn all sorts of useful things form it, like how to capture Harry Potter. I'm not sure how useful that will be since I'll be working with him, but you never know. He might be possessed by a Umgubular Slashkilter, or run into a Dabberblimp, his natural predator."

"Right..."

"How do you think Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley would handle working with you?"

"You mean Ronald?" Luna asked.

"Yes."

"Well..." Luna considered, "Ginny says that Hermione is always doing research, so I think we'd get along quite well. I'm always trying to find more information about the Crumple Horn Snorkacks, so having someone help me with that would be nice, and I think she would enjoy the challenge.

As for Ronald, I never really spent that much time with him, but as long as I give him something to eat, it shouldn't be too uncomfortable. I'm not a very good cook but I could always visit the kitchens or save something from lunch for him."

"The best way to Ron's heart is through his stomach." George agreed.

"What about some of our other candidates?" Feed asked, passing her a short list of some of the other people who had done well in their interviews. Luna studied the list for several long minutes, before handing it back.

"I'm afraid I don't know most of those people, and they aren't nearly as famous as harry and his friends, so I suppose we'd start from scratch. It's always nice to try and make new friends."

Fred grinned at her answer, "Right you are."

"How would you deal with any threats? As the Brawn of the group it'll be your duty to deal with them."

Luna frowned, "I would ask them politely to stop. Ginny taught me her Bat Bogey hex, so I could always use that if people keep being nasty after is ask, or maybe I could show them my new boots! Once they see the River Dance, I'm sure they'd rather talk about that instead of being mean!"

"What about your rivals? You're supposed to fight with them." Fred attempted to focus the girl again.

"Daddy mailed me a box of exploding pies recently. I suppose I could throw those at them." Luna considered thoughtfully. "Though I also checked out a book of rather nasty curse from Madam Pince... I'd hate to waste Daddy's delicious pies..."

Fred and George shared an uneasy glance, before they decided they had had enough for the moment. "Well Miss Lovegood, it was quite a delight to speak with you. It has been most... illuminating."

"A bit unusual too."

Luna beamed, "Thank you! I always believed unusual experiences make life more interesting, don't you agree?"

"Well, I suppose..." Fred considered her statement.

"Certainly better than being boring at least." George added.

"Well, I have to be going. The Nargle's migration season is about to start, and I don't want to miss it if I can help it." Luna said excitedly, before skipping out of the room.

The Twins sat in silence for several minutes as they tried to recover from the unique experience of Luna Lovegood.

"That was... unique." Fred attempted to describe their interview with the young Ravenclaw.

"That it certainly was."

"Do you think we could assign her as comic relief?" Fred asked, rubbing his temples.

"She's not all that funny, just a bit odd, and restructuring the entore process to add in an additional position seems likefar too much work. If we really need to, we can each join one team or another." George said, shaking his head.

"So I guess we should put her in the rejected pile?" Fred asked, already moving to dispose of her application.

"I think she might be good for the Brawn position." George replied, causing his brother to freeze up in shock.

"Do you really?"

"It seems strange, I know, but she is a strange girl, and getting kicked by those boots of hers certainly sounded intimidating."

"I'll grant you that one, brother, but surely some of the other applicants would be better."

"You're forgetting the most important thing about working with Harry."

"And what would that be?"

"You have to be memorable. We want everyone to be recognized, so it isn't just 'Harry Potter and those people he hands out with.' We want Harry Potter, So-and-So, What's-His-Face, and The-Pretty-One."

"True, true. Even just talking to her was memorable." Fred admitted.

"And that was just an interview. We've been doing interviews pretty much all day straight, and hers is the only one really sticking out in my head."

"That's probably because we just finished. Give it a bit, and she'll probably fade out a bit like the rest."

"Luna isn't exactly a forgettable character." George said, and Fred couldn't help but nod in agreement.


	7. Meet the Press

Alright, managed to get seven chapters up in seven days. I think that's a record for me! Unfortunately, this was too good to last, and I'll have to slow down the rate of updates now. My vacation is over, and I've got to focus on doing other things besides slacking off. I'll try to update at least twice a month, preferably once a week, but I'll have to see how things go and how they balance against each other. Apologies for any roughness or shortness, because I'm finishing this off right before I head out to work. I migth come back and flesh this out a little bit more if the mood strikes me.

Hope you enjoy it, and Happy New Year!

**_The Application Process_**

"Mr. Creevey, Mr. Creevey, are you prepared to discuss your application?" Fred asked the Creevey brothers, who were a bit too excited to sit down.

"Yep!"

"We certainly are!"

"Very well, what positions are the two of you applying for? Beauty, Brains or Brawn?"

The Creevey's exchanged a look. "Oh, you're misunderstanding us. We don't want to be part of Harry's team."

"We want to be his photographer and publicist!"

Fred and George didn't reply, staring dumbly in disbelief.

"You see, with the Triwizard Tournament, the presence of an international star, and the redefining of Harry's key friends and rivals, it will be necessary for"

"Of course, we would also work for whatever group of rivals is eventually selected, in the effort to keep things even."

"We really don't expect too many other people to apply for this sort of thing, so we have to keep things fair."

George sighed, "Thank you for your time, but we aren't really looking for-"

"Hold on brother." Fred stopped his twin as he considered their proposal. "Let's hear them out."

"Fred, are you serious?"

"Well, think about it. We did come up with this idea to give us something to entertain ourselves without Quidditch this year."

"Sh! That's supposed to be a secret!" Fred gasped, trying to quiet them down.

"Do you really believe that?" George asked.

"Well... no, not really. But we have to keep up appearances." Fred admitted with a wry grin.

"True enough."

"Anyways, this is a great way for us to generate attention for Harry's new rival. Most people are used to Malfoy and his goons being Harry's rival, so these guys could help speed up the transition."

"I suppose so..." George accepted reluctantly, and they turned back to the eager looking Creevey brothers.

"Alright. Suppose we decide to allow you to do this. What are some of your plans?"

"Well, a photo shoot for both teams would be an ideal starting place. It would help to familiarize the rest of the school and our guests. A series of short articles about the individuals and the groups as a whole will help further establish their roles and legitimacy compared to Harry's previous rival." Colin said, excitement gleaming in his eyes.

"Following that, we would like to organize a few public conflicts, much in the same vein as the tasks mentioned by the Headmaster. It would serve as an opportunity for the two groups to familiarize themselves with each other, and provide entertainment for everyone else during the long gaps between the tasks."

"A solid plan, wouldn't you say brother?"

"Certainly sounds good, but what about competition with the Prophet?"

"We're planning on keeping circulation solely within Hogwarts. The entire project is reliant on the additional publicity created by the Triwizard Tournament. We only plan to keep up this production pace for this year, and then either stop altogether or reduce the frequency to something more manageable. We'll decide which one once we see the results and can gauge the interest levels for further continuation."

"Alright, which of you is which?"

"Colin has always been the better photographer, and people are already used to him asking for photos, so he'll take care of that aspect. I'll be in charge of the printing and publishing parts." Dennis answered quickly, "The two of us together will plan and schedule the various events."

"Colin, are you concerned that your previous reputation might interfere with this?" George asked cautiously.

"Huh?" Colin asked in confusion.

"Well, people recognize that you're a bit pushy when it comes to your photos. Don't you think they might avoid getting pictures taken if they think you'll be the one in charge of them?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're a bit pushy about it mate." Fred informed him, creating an expression of shock on the third year's face. "A lot of people try to avoid you because you're always badgering them about pictures."

"Well, why didn't anyone say something? I wouldn't have tried taking pictures if I knew it bothered people."

"I'm sure they tried, but you just get so excited it's difficult to get a word in edgewise when you've got your camera."

Colin slumped down in disbelief, before drawing a deep breath, "Thank you for telling me about it. In the future, I will try to contain my enthusiasm, especially in a professional setting. If it continues to be a problem, my brother will take over photography duties, or we will find a suitable substitute."

Fred and George blinked in mild surprise, that the photography enthusiast would be willing to go so far for the sake of their project. "You're really serious about that?"

"Well of course. The Triwizard Tournament is a publisher's dream, and sometimes you have to make a sacrifice or two to reach it. If we need someone else in charge of photography, I'll just have to accept that." Colin replied, "besides, it's not like I'd have to give up everything for it. I can still help with event planning and writing the articles."

"True enough." Fred replied, "Well, we hadn't planned on adding any auxiliary positions such as the ones you are proposing, but we can't deny that it sounds interesting. We'll consider your proposal for a few days, and we'll be in touch if we decide to go along with it."

"Really?!" Dennis exclaimed, before regaining control of himself. He awkwardly cleared his throat, before saying, "Thank you. We won't let you down." Colin nodded his agreement, and the Creevey brothers left the office.

"It sounds interesting." Fred admitted to his brother, who was stroking his chin in consideration.

"The real question is, will it be funny. I know we're trying to take this seriously, but we still need to have some fun along the way."

"It will be definitely be funny, at least some of the time." Fred answered with a crafty smile, "I'm sure they'll need some help writing articles or organizing events, and seeing the look on everyone's face the first time they show up is reason enough. I say we give them a chance, and if things don't work out, we can shut it down,"

"So, shall we give them a chance?"

"Let's sleep on it. We still have a lot of interviews left, and we don't want to get ahead of ourselves."

"Fair point. We'll think about it for a bit, and see where things go."


	8. Let's Lucha!

Alright, a day or two later than I wanted, but still good to go. Hope you guys enjoy the chapter.

Just as a reminder, I'm not really paying attention to continuity here, so there could be repeats of someone applying for a position or conflicting tales about who gets a place in Harry's Group or becomes his rivals, especially if it's funny.

If I ever get tired of writing random bits, I might organize an official "canon" varsion of this, but don't get your hopes up. I thinkl this will be more fun anyways.

Enjoy!

**_The Application Process_**

Fred and George stared as Crabbe and Goyle across the table. The two Slytherins were inexplicably naked from the waist up, and were wearing masks. The foursome sat in awkward silence for several long minutes, before the Twins decided to press on, as their current candidates clearly had no desire to initiate their conversation.

"Alright then, Mr... El Pollo Loco?" Fred questioned himself as he read the application's name, glancing up at Crabbe.

"Well that can't be right, can it... Senor Grande?" George asked just as confused as he glance at Goyle's own application.

The masked duo nodded, before standing up in a dramatic fashion, capes suddenly billowing behind them. and from nowhere, a spotlight fell upon them and a voice began to echo through the room.

"PREEEEE-SENTING! ALL THE WAY FROM THE DARK SLUMS OF MEXICO CITY, SENOR GRANDE AND HIS PARTNER IN CRIME, EL POLLO LOCO! THESE MASTERS FO DISASTER WILL STOP AND NOTHING TO LAY DOWN THE HURT ON ANYONE WHO STANDS IN THEIR WAY!"

The empty room broke out into cheers. The two goons stood up, soaking up the applause like seasoned pros.

"AND NOW, FOR THEIR EXHIBITION MATCH, A CHANCE FOR THESE TWO SEASONED LUCHADORS TO SHOW EVERYONE JUST WHAT THEY CAN DO!"

With a quick series of spells, the Twin's office had been shunted to the side of the room, and a massive wrestling ring had materialized in the now empty center of the room. The two masked fighters climbed into the ring, before mounting the corner poles, glaring at each other. They waved to the nonexistent crowd, who went wild at the display.

El Pollo Loco and Senor Grande sprang down into opposite corners, tossing their capes out of the ring for yet another wild roar of approval from the crowd. They were tensed for their impending battle, muscles bulging in readiness. Fred and George watched wordlessly as the phantom announcer spoke up once more. "AND NOW, WHAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, THE TITLE MATCH FOR THE BELT OF LUCHARA, THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION, EL POLLO LOCO, AGAINST THE GREATEST MAN OF ALL TIME, SENOR GRANDE! WHO WILL EMERGE VICTORIOUS? WHO WILL HAVE THE HONOR OF THE CHAMPION'S BELT?! THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT, AND THAT WAY IS..."

The invisible crowd joined the likewise unseen announcer with a cry of, crowd "LET'S LUCHA!"

Both wrestlers jumped down into the ring, and began circling each other. Each sought an opening in the other's defenses and engaged in a series of feints and exchanged light blows as they felt each other out.

Senor Grande made the first move, springing forward to grapple with his foe. El Pollo Loco tried to dodge, but couldn't escape the grasp of Senor Grande, who grabbed him and threw him with a powerful choke slam. El Pollo Loco let out a painful groan, before rolling out of the way of a body slam. Taking advantage of his prone rival, El Pollo Loco tried to pin him, but was thrown off. The combatants broke off their engagement and returned to the edges of the ring. They exchanged looks briefly, before resuming their brawl.

"GRANDE PUNCH!" Senor Grande shouted, hurling himself at his enemy, bringing his fist forward to clobber him. El Pollo Loco managed to dodge, but Senor Grande rebounded off of the ropes and elbowed him in the back of the head. El Pollo Loco staggered, but managed to recover in time to intercept his second attack, clothes-lining the masked man and sending him to the floor of the ring. He placed his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath, and granting Senor Grande a moment to recover.

Senor Grande warily watched his foe as he struggled to his feet. El Pollo Loco watched as he regained his footing, before launching a powerful barrage of attacks. The imaginary crowd roared in excitement, as Senor Grande took blow after punishing blow. As the slightly larger luchador fell back,

A punishing uppercut stopped El Pollo Loco dead in his tracks, lifting him off the ground and sending him sprawling on the ring floor. Senor Grande raised his arms in triumph, before following him to the ground with another body slam. El Pollo Loco was unable to move out of the way this time, and took the full brunt of the attack. Senor Grande rose up only to repeat the attack, landing another devastating blow on El Pollo Loco.

The injured luchador groaned as he rolled over, only to unceremoniously grabbed by Senor Grande, who lifted him over his head, before throwing him across the ring. A shout rang out from the imaginary crowd as El Pollo Loco fell to the ground once more. Senor Grande left the ring, and picked up one of the chairs against the wall. El Pollo Loco struggled to his feet, just in time to see the approaching wrestler with his weapon in hand.

Senor Grande slammed the chair towards El Pollo Loco, only for the injured luchador to stop it. His attack was thwarted as El Pollo Loco seized his forearms. Senor Grande glared at the masked man, as his attack was slowly but surely forced back. The clash of power was abruptly ended as El Pollo Loco bashed Senor Grande's skull with his own. Senor Grande stumbled backwards, as El Pollo Loco attacked with a second headbutt, stunning the wrestler with his attack.

El Pollo Loco seized the chair from his loosened gasp, and brought it down on top of him. Again and again, he pummeled the wrestler with his own weapon, to the rising cheers of the crowd. Senor Grande fell nerveless to the ground, before being dragged to his feet. El Pollo Loco continued to beat on his opponent, before hefting him over his head as he himself had been just moments ago. With a roar, El Pollo Loco threw him out of the ring, watching as Senor Grande crashed into the furniture against the wall.

"ONE! TWO! THREE!" The announcer began counting, as Senor Grande attempted to recover himself and return to the ring. He attempted to raise himself up, but continually collapsed from exhaustion and his injuries.

"FOUR! FIVE! SIX!" the crowd chanted along with the announcer. Senor Grande managed to regain his feet, and staggered towards the ring. He nearly fell after each step, but managed to keep moving.

"SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE!" with only a single number left in the count, Senor Grande began to clamber into the ring. El Pollo Loco was ready for him, and dragged him in to renew his attack. Senor Grande responded in kind, and a powerful barrage of blows fell upon each of them. Senor Grande attempted to grapple El Pollo Loco again, only for the masked fighter to break free. The two of them staggered apart, before locking eyes.

"GRANDE PUNCH!" Senor Grande roared, stepping back to add more power to his final blow.

"EL POLLO PUMMELLER!" El Pollo Loco mirrored him, preparing his own finishing move.

The two charged at each other with a bestial roar, each launching their final attack with all of their might behind it. These attacks would decide who would win.

The blows landed simultaneously.

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT! A CROSS COUNTER!" The announcer roared as the powerful blows landed, sending both combatants to the floor. Both of them lay there for a moment, before El Pollo Loco began to struggle to his feet. He wobbled unsteadily on his feet, before staggering toward his still senseless foe. Falling to his knees he pinned the unmoving Senor Grande.

"ONE! TWO! THREE!" The announcer shouted, as cheers erupted. El Pollo Loco released Senor Grande and stood victorious over him. He raised him arms in triumph, to a roar of approval from the crowd.

"AND THE WINNER IS... EL! POLLO! LOCO!" the crowd screamed almost ecstatically as Crabbe, or rather, El Pollo Loco took a victory lap around the ring, as his opponent dazedly struggled to his feet. In a golden flash, a belt of massive proportions sprang into existence at the center of the ring, glimmering in its magnificence. Almost reverently, El Pollo Loco reentered the ring, and slowly walked over to the floating belt. He held his arms aloft, and it descended into his waiting hands. With unmistakable pride he fastened the belt around his waist, to the crescendo of cheers from the crowd. El Pollo Loco reveled in the glory of the belt, as a host of pyrotechnics erupted around him. He turned to the recently recovered Senor Grande, and magnanimously offered his hand. The defeated wrestler stared at it for several long seconds, before accepting it, to the cheers of the crowd. The two fighters exited the ring together, before facing the Twins.

With a quick bow, the two masked wrestlers absconded from the room, leaving behind two thoroughly confused red heads.

"..." Fred sat silent, finally struck dumb by the entire sequence of unusual events.

"Thank you for the demonstration? George almost asked, unsure of what the proper response would be. It seemed that it was the right decision, and the phantasm crowd burst into cheers once more, as the two luchadors gracefully bowed before dramatically exiting. Several seconds later after their disappearance, the massive wresting ring vanished as well, with all of their furniture springing back into its proper place shortly afterwords.

"Well, they are thematically matched." George commented in an off hand sort of way, still trying to process the weirdness they had witnessed.

"That is true, and you don't see too many wizards willing to engage in hand to hand combat like that. Most like to cast hard hitting spells instead."

"...maybe we should choose them? At least it would keep Malfoy from using them."

"We'll keep them in the running. There are a lot of different students with strong applications, so we can't just cast them aside for... that."

"You don't know what that was either?"

"Nope. Not a clue. Looked impressive though."

"Yes, it did. I wonder where they go the idea... Watching two blokes pummel each other unconscious is always fun to see, wouldn't you say? I wouldn't mind watching them go at it again sometime."


	9. Hypothetical Encounters 1

Alright, manged to get another chapter of this out before Friday. I gotta admit, I like getting these done. early, but I always feel that posting on Friday tends to get more views... maybe I should start posting these on Fridays regardless of when I actually finish them? Something to think about anyways.

You guys may notice that the chapter is called Hypothetical Encounters #1. This is because, as I stated at the start of this, that there is no set canon, or timeline for this at the moment. This is only one of many potential setups the Twins could have decided upon, and the chapter name reflects that. I'll probably write something that outright contradicts this at some point, and despite stating there is no story canon, I'm sure someone somewhere will complain about it.

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

_**The Application Process: Hypothetical Encounters #1**_

It was another wonderful Hogsmead weekend, and Harry was nervous. It wasn't because of the Triwizard Tournament, though that was a part of it. It wasn't the plot Dumbledore suspected was surrounding him. After three years of the same, he more or less expected it. It was his new rival, that he was worried about.

He was glad he didn't have to deal with Malfoy any more, make no mistake about that, but Malfoy, though annoying, was at least familiar, and while he had plenty of time to get to know his new rival, interviews and staged meetings were nothing like the real world, and he had no idea just what he would have to deal with.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Mr. Potter and his incompetent cronies." A voice called out, causing the foursome to turn. Harry grimaced lightly as he saw Daphne Greengrass, his newly appointed rival, and her cadre of companions. The two groups stared at each other, and harry couldn't help but feel there should be a tumbleweed blowing between them.

Surprisingly, the first to move were Ron and Lavender, who came together in a passionate embrace. The remainders of their teams stared dumbfounded as the two teens grappled with each other in a way that caused a number of them to begin blushing. It wasn't all that surprising. An exceptionally attractive male meeting an exceptionally attractive woman was likely in end in such a way, but to have a front row seat for such an event was disconcerting and uncomfortable for the rest of them.

"Don't worry Harry! I'll overpower her!" Ron managed to gasp between kisses.

"I've got him right where I want him Daphne!" Lavender moaned before tackling Ron to the ground.

"My, Ronald's method seems surprisingly effective." Luna commented absently, as she walked over to her counterpart. "I think I'll test it out for myself." She began walking towards the somewhat dumbfounded Susan Bones, before the Hufflepuff realized just what the young Ravenclaw was intending. With a brief shout and wave of her wand, numerous ropes sprung into existence and wrapped up the blonde girl.

"Oh poo." Luna said in mild disappointment. "I guess it only works for the Beauty."

Harry pointed his wand at Susan threateningly, but was soon distracting as Ron's shirt found its way onto his head. With a brief shout, he tore it off, and took several steps away form the epicenter of the conflict. Susan likewise took several steps away from Luna, in fear that she would have somewhat less innocuous than a shirt thrown onto her.

All of them watched the two Beauties clash. At first, simply to avoid being assaulted with whatever happened to come off of them, but then, it slowly began to develop into a morbidly fascinating scene, and they shuffled closer together, enraptured by what was unfolding in front of their very eyes.

"Well, this isn't going anything like I expected it to go..." Harry struck up a conversation with Daphne as they watched their Beauties continue their... "battle."

"I feel the same way, Mr. Potter." Daphne replied, unable to tear her eyes away, much like the slowly gathering crowd. "Do you think we should go to the Three Broomsticks for a debriefing? I have a feeling these two aren't going to stop anytime soon, and it could prove problematic for our future encounters."

"Sounds good to me." Harry answered, signaling Hermione to grab Luna. "I'm buying."

"Now Mr. Potter, as your rival, do you think I'd let you get one over on me so easily?" Daphne smirked as Padma and Susan fell into pace behind her. The two trios left the out of the way Hogsmead street, intent on quenching their thirst, their rivalry currently suspended.

"You should try tying her up next time Ronald! It worked wonderfully on me!" Luna called out as they left. Ron gave a halfhearted wave of thanks, before doing his best to "subdue" his very attractive rival.

As they continued to struggle for dominance, a number of the less gentlemanly wizards in the crowd began to cheer for them, to which Ron and Lavender were blissfully oblivious to.

_**Applications**_

The Three Broomsticks was surprisingly empty for a Hogsmead weekend, but given the show their missing friends were putting on, it made sense that most of the students would be watching that instead of having a nice drink. Harry managed to secure a sizable booth in the corner, and the girls soon joined him. The quickly gave their orders to Madame Rosmerta, before Daphne called their impromptu meeting to order.

"I think the first order of business we have is to discuss Mr. Weasley and Miss Brown." Daphne began, to a round of frantically nodding heads. "I think we can all agree that their choice of combat is unorthodox at best, and somethings need to be devised to deal with it."

"Well, I have an idea." Hermione said.

Madame Rosmerta delivered their butterbeers, and Daphne and Harry gestured for her ton continue as they began to sip form their drinks.

"I think that we should speak with both Ron and Lavender about today. They never really had a chance to speak with each other due to the activity involved in setting up these groups. If we can just talk to them about it, I'm sure we can come to a resolution that everyone is happy with, and avoid this problem in the future."

"Lovely idea. I'm sure they won't lose themselves in the heat of battle." Padma commented with a look of disdain.

Hermione glared at her counterpart, before continuing, "While this does run the risk of a repeat of today, I think that both Ronald and Lavender are mature enough to restrain themselves after today. Also, if they do decide to pursue a relationship, it will allow them to vent their... emotions outside of conflicts, thus reducing the likelihood that they will lose control of themselves as they did today. We'll need to consult with both of them to see if this is a viable option, but I think it could resolve our problem nicely."

Daphne and Harry nodded in consideration, while Luna and Susan drank their butterbeers. Padma snorted derisively at the proposal.

"Well, if you don't like it, why not share your own idea?" Hermione said, glaring at the Ravenclaw.

"I will." Padma said, giving Hermione a dismissive look. She stood up, and waited until she had everyone's attention, before explaining her own solution.

"I propose we separate they two of them. The chemistry between them is far too strong for anything else currently available to deal with. If we keep them apart, then they will only see each other"

"The second apart of my plan is to have them develop romantic relationships with people outside of our rival groups. This will not only provide them with an outlet aside form each other, but it will also provide a tangible reason for them to avoid engaging in such a manner again. The entire process will take some time, but I think if both groups collaborate together, we can establish a solid baseline within a month, and have both of them in strong relationships by the winter holidays."

"And that's just a lovely idea." Hermione said sarcasm dripping from every word. "It will be easy to ensure they never see each other for an entire month. It's not like they're members of a rival groups, or house mates. They only time we'll have to worry about them is the rare times they're in class together, when we're focused on learning and taking notes. I'm sure they won't take advantage of that."

Padma glared at the brainy Gryffindor, before Harry tried to defuse the situation. He signaled for another round, and began trying to placate both parties.

"Alright, those are both some... interesting options, but I'm sure there are a number of other choices. We still need to talk to both Lavender and Ron about this before we can make any real progress, but thank you both for your thoughts on how best to deal with this."

Their butterbeers arrived, and Harry hoped that the drinks would help cool their tempers a bit. He sighed in relief as the two intelligent girls stopped glaring at each other to pick up their mugs, but his relief was to be short lived.

"Bitch." Hermione commented between sips of her butterbeer.

"Tart." Padma replied easily.

"Trollop."

"Troll."

"Tramp."

"Idiot." Padma sneered, turning Hermione a furious red.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" Hermione shrieked, standing up in righteous rage, "YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS I EDGED YOU OUT IN THE MIDTERMS!"

"THAT WAS LUCK AND YOU KNOW IT!" Padma yelled in return, mirroring her counterpart. Both Harry and Daphne sighed as they realized where this was going. The Ravenclaw leaped across the table, taking the furious Gryffindor to the floor. Hermione roared in outrage, before seizing Padma's long dark hair, and giving it a vicious pull.

Padma shrieked in pain and outrage, before slapping the bushy haired bookworm, and receiving one in return. Hermione rolled over on top of Padma, knocking over an empty table in the process, only for Padma to grab her hair and introduce her face to the floor. There was a sickening smack, and when Hermione's face came back up, her mouth was bleeding.

"YOU.. TART!" Hermione screamed, as she kicked herself free of the Ravenclaw. The two of them regained their footing, before rushing at each other for another clash.

"You'd better stop them Harry." Daphne said.

"...What?"

"You're the Boss, right? As the Boss, it's your duty to control your underlings. If you can't even manage this, maybe I shouldn't be your rival." Daphne said, before sipping form her butterbeer once more.

Harry considered it for a moment, before deciding discretion was the better part of valor. "You stop them."

"What?"Daphne asked is disbelief, setting down her mug.

"I'm never seen two girls go at it like this. You've got a younger sister, right? I'm sure you'd be much better at getting them to stop than me." Harry said, locking eyes with the Slytherin.

Daphne stared him, then looked at the brawl on the bar's floor, watching as Hermione spit the blood from her broken lip in Padma's face, and earned a slap that sent her sprawling.

"...I'm sure they can resolve their differences on their own. They're both smart girls." Daphne said, attempting to save face.

"Agreed. Let's leave them alone to settle their differences." Harry concurred, before the remaining four quickly exited the building.

_**Applications**_

Deciding to get far, far away from the Three Broomsticks, the Boss and Brawn of both groups set out for a walk around Hogsmead, taking special care to avoid the area where they had first met up.

"Oh look! The Shrieking Shack!" Susan exclaimed, trying to distract the rest of them from the last few events of the day. "You know it's the most haunted structure in all of Britain, right?"

"You know, I always wondered how it became haunted." Daphne said, "It's too bad Hermione and Padma are indisposed right now. I'm sure one of them knew the answer."

"I've always wanted to explore the Shrieking Shack." Luna commented as they passed the empty building. "Daddy would love to interview some of the spirits inside of it. It would be a great piece for the Quibbler."

"I don't think there's anything interesting in there Luna." Harry chuckled, recalling when he found out the truth about the Shrieking Shack.

"Nonsense!" Luna replied cheerily, "In light of our abject failure to engage in proper battle, I think a short expedition into the Shack is the perfect opportunity to raise morale."

Harry laughed as they continued walking, "Thanks Luna, but I think you already managed to do that."

"Luna?" Harry asked, before noticing she was not walking alongside them anymore. He rapidly turned to see where she had gone, but a sinking feeling in his stomach told him where she had probably gone. He looked towards the Shrieking Shack, and saw the young Ravenclaw was already next to the abandoned building, and happily dislodging a few decaying boards

"Luna! Stop!" Susan shouted, before rushing to catch the young blond before she entered the Shack. Unfortunately, Luna managed to make a hole just large enough for her to squeeze into, and Susan's hand closed on empty air as the young Ravenclaw disappeared

"Luna? LUNA?!" The Hufflepuff cried, before frantically widening the hole and plunging headfirst after her. The further loosening of the boards caused the whole wall to shudder, and other loose boards began to sink, slowly causing the recently crafted doorway to close.

Harry and Daphne stood dumbfounded, still trying to process how they had lost the last pair of their companions so easily. The quickly rushed over to the entrance they had created, which was already almost collapsed itself completely closed. The peered into what remained of the hole and called out, but neither Luna or Susan replied.

"Do you think we ought to get a teacher?" Daphne fretted, "I don't wan them to get detention, but we can't just leave then in there, can we?"

"We don't need to get a teacher. Luna's probably exploring the Shack and is too fascinated to hear us, and Susan is probably just trying to get her before something happens. I'm sure they'll be just fine."

"But what if one of the spirits gets them?" Daphne asked, her fearful eyes locking with Harry's.

"Don't worry about it." Harry assured Daphne. "I know for a fact that there aren't any evil spirits in there."

"Is that so Mr. Potter? Then just what causes all of the screaming the town hears?"

"Werewolves." Harry answered without thinking, not seeing how Daphne froze up at his offhand comment. He began to turn around, before noticing that Daphne was frantically trying to force her own way

"Daphne, wait!" he shouted, futilely trying to wrestle her away from the Shack.

"We can't let them go in there alone Harry! They don't have your years of experience to survive a werewolf!"

_**Applications**_

Harry sighed as they finally reached their destination. The hill wasn't all that impressive, but it gave them a good view of Hogsmead, and they could even spot Hogwarts off in the distance.

He looked over at Daphne. It hadn't been easy convincing her that the Shack wasn't a werewolf stronghold, waiting to devour anyone who walked to close by. Even after explaining that it had been built for Professor Lupin years ago, and had been deserted ever since, he still found her glancing fearfully at it from time to time, and visibly restraining herself from rushing in after the Brawn of both their teams. Only after a half hour passed without any screams from inside or riots breaking out in the town did she finally allow herself to relax.

Harry watched as she gazed down on Hogsmead, trying to think of a decent way to break the ice. Their entire history was based around their respective groups and their clashes, and they had never had a single encounter where it was just the two of them. Harry struggled to think of how to converse with the pretty girl beside hi, before deciding to rely on the basis of their relationship, their rivalry.

"That went... well, I suppose." Harry said, trying to pretend things had gone better than they had.

Daphne chuckled, "Don't flatter me Potter. It was a disaster for both of us, and you know it."

"Well, yeah, but at least it was entertaining." Harry replied, "And I'm sure Ron and Lavender are happy with how things turned out at least."

"That is true... I always suspected Lav had something for that Weasley of yours since his makeover, and I'm glad she finally got a chance to act on it. The Brains on the other hand..."

"As long as they don't burn down Hogsmead, I'll be happy." Harry answered.

"I don't think we need to worry about that. They seemed more concerned with hair pulling and slapping than acting like witches."

"I've never seen Hermione like that before. I guess she was a bit more stressed about Padma's attempt to replace her than she let on." Harry considered, "I think I'll still be concerned about them burning down Hogsmead. They're both smart girls, and eventually one of them is going to remember her wand, if only so she can hex the other for pulling out her hair."

Daphne sat silent for a moment, "Do you think we should stop them?"

"There is no way I'm getting between two smart witches with a grudge against each other. I'd rather fight Voldemort before doing that."

Daphne flinched at the Dark lord's name. "Sorry about that." Harry apologized.

"No need for that. I'm just a little impressed that you can say his name so easily."

"Well, I grew up like a muggle. I didn't even know about him until Hagrid told me. Harry said modestly."

"Still, even the muggleborns start calling him You-Know-Who after a few months." Daphne said, "it's quite impressive that you continue to say it after four years."

"Professor Dumbledore once told me that fear of a name only increases the fear of the person, so I try to keep saying it despite how everyone reacts. I'm just glad he doesn't come up in everyday conversation."

"...I'm not a very good rival, am I?" Daphne asked, causing harry to look over at her in surprise.

"Why do you say that?"

"It's our first real encounter, and look what happened. Our beauties are probably naked in the streets right now, our Brains are probably burning down the Three Broomsticks, and our Brawns are exploring a haunted house."

"Allegedly haunted." Harry corrected her, earning a halfhearted laugh.

"And here we are, just sitting like a couple of chums instead of fighting like we should."

Harry sighed as he tried to think of how to answer her. Nothing immediately sprang to mind, so he decided to simple say whatever came to mind.

"Daphne, it's our first encounter. There was no way it was going to go well. Your groups is still learning how to work together, and mine is still adjusting to Luna. We're still not used to working with our allies, let alone our rivals. Things were bound to go wrong, and they did. It just means we need some time to get comfortable with each other."

"You really think so?"

"I do." harry replied honestly. "No matter how things turned out, I still had a lot of fun today, and you certainly beat out Malfoy."

"You're comparing me to Malfoy already?" Daphne managed a smile.

Harry smiled back, "I'm sorry, I should have compared you to rocks. It's less insulting to you."

Daphne laughed, before standing on her tiptoes, and pecking him on the check.

Harry froze for a moment, as Daphne looked at him, her cheeks slightly pinker than before, "That doesn't mean I like you Potter. I just... sympathize with your situation."

Harry flushed as well, "Of- Of course. It was nice working with you." he said, awkwardly offering his hand. Daphne stared at it for a long moment, before reaching out and shaking it.

"Excellent work today Mr. Potter. I look forward to our next encounter." Daphne managed, before turning and stiffly marching off. Harry stood still for a few minutes longer, before leaving himself, making absolutely sure to go in any direct but the same one as Daphne had chosen.

_**Applications**_

"So, did you manage to get all of that?" Fred asked his brother with a wide grin.

"Why yes, I did." George answered with his own smirk. "I didn't expect them to split up like that, but I managed to record everything despite that minor hiccup.

"Excellent. I think we'll have quite the entertainment lined up for dinner this evening."

"Indeed we will brother. We just need to get these to the Creevey brothers to spice it up a bit more." George's grin widened to the point where it looked as if his face would break.

"Best be going then, don't you think?" Fred asked, before the Twins dashed back to Hogwarts. The evening meal was only a few hours away, and they wanted to make sure everything was perfect for the returning rivals. After all, the Weasley Twins produced nothing but the finest. If they didn't make at least one of their unfortunate targets blush hard enough to explode, they clearly weren't doing their job right.


	10. Hagrid's Horrors

A day later than usual, but still two day ahead of my goal, so I'm not too upset. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, despite the fact that I'm killing someone off. The nice thing about a lack of continuity is I can kill whoever I want and bring them back with no explanation necessary next chapter. I'll try to avoid killing peopel left and right, but who knows? I might decide than it's fun.

For those of you who are interested, I added a new topic in my forum for this particular fic. I generally write a short blurb for each chapter, then expand it when the mood hits me, or someone expresses an interest in it. If you're interested in seeing the Chapter Seeds and telling me which ones you'd like to see developed, or have a particular request, the forum his here:

www. fanfiction. net forum/ General-Discussion-Forum/ 106701/

Enjoy!

**_The Application Process_**

"Hagrid, you know this was meant to be mainly for students, right?"

"I know, I just wanted to try myself for a bit of fun." Hagrid answered with a smile. The gentle giant looked so happy about being involved, the Twins didn't have the heart to turn him away out of turn.

Fred sighed, "Alright Hagrid, show us what you've got.

"I assembled a whole team myself. I didn't think that any of the other professors would be interested, and teamign up with students didn't seem right, so I brought in a couple of old friends."

"Friends?" George asked, wondering who Hagrid knew outside of Hogwarts.

"Well, I brought Fluffy fer the Beauty position. He's always had a fine coat of fur, and i Your brother Charlie said he'd let Norbert visit me, so I'll use him fer Brawn, on account of him being a dragon. Me old friend Aragog's been talking about coming to visit Hogwarts again, so he agreed to be the Brains for a bit."

"Excellent, you wouldn't have photos of your team members, would you? I'm afraid we're not familiar with them." Fred asked.

"Of course!" Hagrid nearly shouted cheerfully, before passing them a handful of photos. "My favorite ones are of Fluffy and Norbert. Aragog's always been a bit camera shy, but I managed to get a few pictures of him and his family in there too."

Fred's eyes nearly bugged out of his skull, "Isn't this the dog that was in that room three years ago? The one that Dumbledore said would lead to swift and painful death?"

"Certainly looks like it" George said, his face ashen as he paged through the pictures.. "I can see why he talked to Charlie. This one's a bloody dragon!"

"The last one's a spider, that can't be too bad, can it?" Fred asked almost hopefully,, not looking too closely at the photo.

"Take another look. It's big enough to eat a centaur." George said, his legs shaking.

"So, I guess you would be the boss of your little group?" Fred shakily put down the photos.

"Yep!" Hagrid beamed,

"I assume that you'll be able to keep them under control, right?" George asked, almost desperately.

"Well..." Hagrid considered, "Fluffy's always been well behaved, as long as he's not cooped up too long and gets plenty of attention. Aragog's his own man- er... acromantula, but he promised me he wouldn't eat people since I raised him and got him a wife. As for Norbert, I'm not too sure, I haven't seen the lad since he was a dragonling, but I've been reading up on dragon handling, and your brother sent over a copy of his training manual!"

"You let them into Hogwarts?" George asked weakly.

"Well sure, they're old friends with Harry, Ron and Hermione. Why wouldn't I let them spend some time together to catch up?" Hagrid asked innocently. The Twins didn't waste any more time on their interview, instead sprinting out of the room to either find Dumbledore or take cover.

**_Applications_**

"All I wanted to do was fly my Firebolt. I didn't need to play Quidditch, I didn't need to pull off acrobatics, I just wanted to have a nice, relaxing fly." Harry muttered to himself as he fled from the dragon. Sadly, being Harry Potter meant that things almost never went the way he wanted. To be honest, he wasn't all that surprised that a dragon was chasing him; it was pretty much par for the course in the life of Harry Potter. All he could hope for was that someone would notice there was a dragon terrifying Hogwarts (him in particular) and do something about it.

With a pained groan, Harry reached out and grabbed a goal post, nearly wrenching his arm out of its socket in order to make a near impossible turn. The dragon howled in frustration as its prey vanish from sight; it scoured they skies for any sign of its prey, while Harry frantically put as much distance between them as possible.

With a roar, the dragon renewed it's pursuit of the young Seeker. It's massive wings flapped with exertion as it began to close the gap between them. Harry had moved passed the end of the Quidditch field, and was rapidly approaching the Forbidden Forest. While the trees were bound to provide him with some cover, there were plenty of dangers within it, and he doubted a few very flammable trees would do much to deter his current problem.

Harry sighed, just another typical day in the life of Harry Potter.

With a steep dive, Harry found himself weaving between the closely packed trees. The dragon began to fall behind, as it was too large to pass between them and was forced to plow through them instead. However, it had no such problems with it's breath, and Harry often found himself making sharp turns to avoid sudden flashes of flame. Once, he hurriedly tried to extinguish his broomstick, as a tongue of flame had managed to ignite the bristles. In the back of his head, Harry hoped that he would be able to fix it, before refocusing on his current crisis.

In a flash of inspiration, Harry realized his chance, he made a quick U-turn, and started heading back to Hogwarts. The dragon followed him, which was just what Harry wanted. His goal quickly came into view, and with a last burst of speed, harry emerged from the forest.

Without the trees to slow it down, the dragon quickly began to catch up to him. Harry dodged it's bites and fire breath, knowing that he only had to stay ahead of it for a little bit longer. The Whomping Willow was just a few seconds away, and while it was dangerous, Harry had more than a few encounters with it during his time at Hogwarts, and knew how to avoid the worst of it. The speed and agility of his Firebolt allowed him to avoid the lashing branches, and quickly escape it's grasp.

Seconds behind him, the dragon smashed into the Whomping Willow, but unlike its previous victims, this tree wasn't content to be demolished. It's branches lashed out at the beast, which howled in outrage. Harry was forgotten as a brawl of monstrosities broke out. Harry headed back to the castle, hoping that the rest of the day wouldn't be so stressful.

**_Applications_**

"La la la la..." Ron sang carefully, making sure to stay in tune. It had taken several minutes of frantic fleeing from the monstrous dog of his first year before he remembered it would fall asleep to music. Unfortunately, the spot Fluffy had chosen to doze in was the doorway to the classroom Ron had attempted to hide inside. While he managed to put th ebeats to sleep before it could break down the door completely, it was the only visible way out, and as far as Ron knew, there were no secret passages inside.

He sighed to himself, only to immediately begin singing again when Fluffy growled in distaste. His only real option was to wait until someone found him, or Hagrid collected his pet. Ron groaned internally, and hoped that his voice wouldn't give out before someone found him.

**_Applications_**

"Oh God... oh God..." Hermione stuttered as she attempted to crawl away from the monstrous spider in the middle of her dormitory. She always thought Ron and Harry had exaggerated about it's size in their stories, but after seeing it in the flesh, she realized they hadn't done it justice. None of thair stories had really conveyed the horror of an eight foot tall giant spider. It wasn't hard to see why Ron hated spiders so much.

Hermione began to back up, only to find the door had closed behind her. She tried to open it, but it was coated in spider thread, like the rest of the room. All she managed to do was trap her hand in the sticky web. She begant to frantically search for her wand, before the monstrosity in the middle of the room noticed her.

"It is good to finally taste the flesh of man." it said to itself, as he backed away from his cocooned meal. His jaws clacked in what she could only assume was delight, before turning to face the bushy haired bookworm. A small part of Hermione remembered that Lavender had come up here to freshen up, and hadn't come back down.

"So, you are the one Hagrid told me about. Hermione was it? You are to be my equal? My counterpart for Hagrid's little venture?" the spider clacked at the terrified girl. Hermioen nodded frantically. If this thing was a friend of Hagrid's maybe it wouldn't hurt her.

"W-what's your name?"

"I am called Aragog. Hagrid once raised me, here in this very tower. Not much has changed since then, I see." His voice was rough with age, though that could easily be the unusual shape of its mouth.

"Reducto!" Hermione screamed. The blast of energy shot towards the spider, bit it did nothing against it's chitinous hide.

Aragog let out a burst of air, the closest he could manage to a sigh. "I find myself disappointed. Then again, you are nothing but a child. Such spells are nothing against an acromantula's flesh."

Again, Hermioen tried to break open the door, but the spider silk was just as magically resistant as its creator. Everythign she tried seemed to result in more and more webbing entrapping her, until she could barely move. Soon, all Hermione could do was watch, terrified, as the monstrous spider slowly approached her.

"My dear, I am afraid that escape is quite impossible" the monstrous spider said to the terrified Gryffindor, "Do not worry, your fear, like your life, will soon come to an end."

**_BAD END_**


	11. The Swarm

A bit later than usual, but still before my end of the week deadline. Honestly, I'm not too happy with this chapter. There aren't too many older developed older students to put into the story, and given how Cedric is a Hufflepuff and likely to bring in a large number of supporters given Harry status as "stealing" his glory, it would have necessitated creating a significant number of OCs, which I didn't want to do. I managed to only create one and gloss over the rest of them but I'm still not particularly happy with it.

Let me know what you guys think about it, and I hope you can enjoy it despite my misgivings.

_**Applications**_

Cedric Diggory wasn't sure what to make of recent events. Being selected as the Champion for Hogwarts in the Triwizard Tournament was an immense honor, but the sudden addition of Harry Potter to the original trio

Cedric wasn't sure what to make of Harry. He had always been a good opponent in Quidditch, and seemed soft spoken most of the time, but he did have a tendency to get involved in major events like this.

As the Hufflepuff champion tried to figure out what role Harry would be playing, he found himself waylaid by the infamous Gryffindor troublemakers, Fred and George. They all but dragged him into an empty classroom, despite his protests. Cedric eyed them warily, making sure his wand was close at hand. They had never been malicious before, but given what was at stake in the tournament...

"Cedric my boy, as one Quidditch player to another, you could use some help." One of them declared with a grin.

"Shouldn't you be helping your own champion?" Cedric asked pointedly, looking around for any signs of a classic Twins' trap.

"We already did."

"Didn't you notice the big assembly earlier in the year? When everyone was turning in applications?"

"Well, yes, but what does that have to do with me?"

"As a Hogwarts Champion, all eyes are going to be on you, much like they all too often have been on our young friend Harry, who was unfortunate enough to join your ranks. It's only natural that we extend our services to you as well."

"Your... services?" Cedric asked.

"You, Krum, and the dishy Beauxbaton's champion."

"Can't be showing favoritism at this stage. That'll have to wait until later."

"Wait, what in the world are you two babbling about?"

"You, my dear Cedric, need to round up a posse."

"A posse?!"

"A team, a crew, a gang, choose whatever terms suits you best. Harry has his support network in place."

"Mostly." George amended.

"We've eliminated a few candidates, at least. So you need to play catch up and establish your own group."

"Hufflepuff is an obvious choice for your crew, but judging by how the other houses are reacting to our young friend's entry, you could probably have your pick of Ravenclaw and Slytherin too. Even a few Gryffindor's might be interested, but you'll have to work at that."

"House unity and all that."

Cedric looked back and forth, trying to keep up with their rapid fire exchange. The Twins stopped, allowing him to process what they had been saying, before handing him something. Cedric stared in mild befuddlement at the piece of folded paper they passed to him.

"Don't worry, it's all written up in this pamphlet."

"Rounding up a Posse, the Weasley Way?" Cedric asked the now departed twins, before, with s deep sense of foreboding, flipping through it.

Cedric spent the rest of the night looking through the pamphlet the Twins had given him, and considering just what they wanted him to do.

To be honest, while the Twins were suspect, their little pamphlet contained a simple, concise explanation of the entire concept of their four man band, and the roles each member would play. Cedric, as the center for the group, would apparently play the role of the Boss, and be responsible for determining their goals as well as maintaining order within the group. The other roles were equally fascinating, and reminded Cedric of Hufflepuff philosophy. The whole was greater than the sum of the parts, and bringing out the full potential of his team was an idea Cedric couldn't get enough of.

Cedric went to sleep, still considering the benefits and drawbacks of dozens of potential teammates.

**_Applications_**

"Hey Cho, could we talk?" Cedric said somewhat nervously. His fellow seeker blushed, before waving off her friends.

"What is it?" She asked,

"Well, Fred and George stopped me yesterday for a talk. You know how they devised some sort of group for Harry Potter earlier this year, right?"

"Yes..." Cho replied, frowning slightly in confusion.

"Well, since he was chosen as a Champion, they decided I should have something similar set up."

"Oh?"

"At first I wasn't too keen on the idea, but considering how difficult the tournament is going to be, I'm starting to come around to it. Having a dedicated group to help me out started to sound like a solid plan."

"Well, you are in Hufflepuff." Cho mused, "Of course you're going to think it's a good idea."

Cedric chuckled.

"So what does this have to do with me?"

"Well, the two of us have always gotten along, even though we're rivals on the Quidditch Field." Cedric began, studiously looking away from the Ravenclaw, "And I know how smart you are, so I was wondering, if maybe you would like to be one of them?"

"Well... what exactly would I be doing?" Cho considered.

"The three roles the Twins; described were Brains, Beauty, and Brawn. I'm not too sure about that last one, but you certainly could be either of the first two." Cedric blushed.

"I doubt I'd be too much use in a fight, so I think Brains or Beauty would be best. Which one, depends on how to answer my next question." Cho said, a teasing tone in her voice.

"And what would that question be?"

"Would you like to spend the next Hogsmead weekend with me?" The Ravenclaw seeker asked boldly. Never let it be said that only Gryffindors had courage.

"S- sure." Cedric managed to say without choking.

Cho flushed, and gave him one of the largest smiles he had even seen. "Then I guess you have your Beauty."

**_Applications_**

Cedric wasn't sure that having most of his close friends act as his Brawn was what the Twins had intended, but judging by the number of Durmstrang and Beauxbatons students, having a few extra wands available couldn't hurt. Most of his dorm mates had volunteered, and in addition to providing twenty four hour support, they were among his closest friends.

In the back of his mind, Cedric wished that Professor Lockhart's dueling club had lasted a bit longer. Hufflepuff's weren't known for their desire to start a fight, and while his friends were certainly willing to step up to the plate, knowing how to win a fight would have been valuable information.

Cedric sighed. Considering how much work he had to do for the tournament, training with his roommates was probably a good idea. Forging them into a well oiled fighting machine was exactly the type of thing that needed to be done.

Cedric absently made a note to start up a training regimen for all of them. The sooner they started, the better off they would be.

**_Applications_**

Cedric hadn't been sure who would fit best for the Brains, but he decided to go with a Slytherin. By including a Slytherin, he managed to secure support from all three houses outside Gryffindor. His father always said that it was never too early to start building connections, and being tripartisan was a solid move.

The issue was which one to choose. The majority of Slytherins were more interested in their own agendas than focusing on Cedric's concerns, and those few who were amiable to the idea generally weren'y as skilled as Cedric would like for his team. Finally, after much internal deliberation, he settled on his fellow Sixth year, Carl.

Carl probably should have been in Ravenclaw. He never seemed to pay attention to anyone else and always had his nose buried in one book or another. He hadn't been difficult to find, but getting him to look up and listen was trying, and getting him to agree even more so. Cedric wasn't too sure how useful his fellow sixth year was going to be, but his grades were consistently the best in the year, and his knowledge of spellwork was impressive to say the least.

The additional support he would gain from Slytherin was just an added bonus.

**_Applications_**

Cedric looked over his assembled team. It was a bit larger than he had intended, and his recruitment efforts had drawn the attention of his entire house, all of whom wanted to join in whatever form he would allow. It wouldn't be much of a stretch to call them Team Hufflepuff.

"I must say, this is a rather impressive list of team members."

"I hope you don't mind the creation of an associate position. The rest of the 'Puffs were a bit... enthusiastic when they found out about your little plan."

"Hope you don't mind taking a team photo?" The Creevey brothers asked. Cedric stared blankly at the m for a moment, before agreeing.

It took nearly a week to organize everyone. With such support, it was difficult to find a time when no one needed to attend class, had detention, or was finishing up an essay for one teacher or another. They finally managed to gather everyone into the Great Hall for the photo.

The hustle and bustle as everyone jockeyed to get a good position was entertaining, and it filled Cedric with pride that so many people would go so far to help and support him. As he took the center position, he couldn't get rid of the massive grin on his face.

"Alright everyone, say: Diggory!" Colin called.

"DIGGORY!" The booming voice of Cedric supporters echoed through the hall, as the brilliant flash of the camera captured the moment.


	12. Brains Games 1

Hey, look, I updated this! How cool is that!

Sorry about the long gap between updates. I fell off the writing horse, then life started to get in the way, and I focused my writing on some original stuff, as well as my Childish Things fanfic.

But then one day, I was messing around, and started writing this again for fun. ABotu half an hour later, I had a thousand words written, and realized that I had forgotten how fun this story was to write. Writing something silly and pointless is a nice change of pace, so I'm going to try and get back in the habit of writing this. I've got to try and balance this against my other writing, but I think (hope) I can manage it.

I've already got the next chapter mostly written, so expect that some time next week. After that, no promises.

Anyways, enjoy!

**_The Application Process_**

The Twins were pouring over a huge pile of papers. As students, one might expect they were laboring away at a homework problem, perhaps a massive arithmancy equation, or a lengthy transfiguration essay.

As the Twins, one might expect that they were plans for a new invention, or a devastating prank. Most likely on Slytherin students, but just as easily on one of the other rival houses, or even Gryffindor.

However, right now, they were working on their pet project, which meant that they were pouring over applications for Harry's companion. In this particular case, for all of those who were applying to be the brains of the operation.

"We have about twenty Ravenclaws lined up for interviews later this week, and more of them are signing up by the hour." Fred sighed in irritation. "That's not even counting the candidates from the other Houses who think they can outshine Hermione."

"We can't spend that much time interviewing them!" George exclaimed, "Even if we did manage that, most of them will be able to pass it without any problems, so we'll still have the same problem."

"We need to come up with some way to thin the herd, or flock in this case." Fred mused.

"How about a trial? A series of puzzles so that only the best can make it through?" George suggested.

"That might be our only option. Let's get cooking on it."

The Twins labored for several days, formulating and discarding mental challenges several times, seeking to create a series of puzzles and challenges. It was after this long, intense period of brainstorming, that one of them finally settled on a challenge they thought would be appropriate.

"Alright, I think we've gotten everything we need." George declared, sitting back in accomplishment. Fred glanced over at his work, before turning to his brother.

"You don't think it's too obvious?" he asked.

"If it is, and too many of them pick up on it, then we'll just say they got it wrong. Otherwise, I think it will be perfect for eliminating the more bird brained s"

Fred nodded in agreement,"The Brains tend to spend too much time buried in a book, instead of watching the world around them. Plus as Hermione has said in the past, most wizards don't have an ounce of common sense or logic."

"Exactly."

"Of course, this is only step one in the process."

"Well, we've gotten a decent head start on that with all of this brainstorming we've been doing."

"We just need to knock it up a notch."

"Bam." George answered, "I think we've got our next challenge right here."

Fred glanced over at the paper his brother had been working on, "Oh, that is a nice one, isn't it. I especially like the knives."

"Thank you brother." George grinned, and the two of them once again set to work in earnest.

**_Applications_**

Over a week later, the Twins had completed their research. Once their work was done, the Twins sent out a call, and assembled the large number of potential Brains in a secluded tower of the castle. They gazed out at the assembled crowd, composed of the best and brightest (or so they claimed.) With a shared grin, they addressed the crowd.

With a theatrical bow, Fred began to speak. "Welcome, to all you candidates applying for the Brains position in Harry's team. This will be the first of many trials to determine which of you is most fit to fulfill the position. The name of this trial is..."

"The Gauntlet!" George shouted, casting a quick spell to fill the room with the sound of thunder.

"The gauntlet consists of a number of intellectual challenges and puzzles we have spent weeks devising. We have researched countless forbidden tomes, and even consulted with the most devious minds of our time to craft and select the challenges within. Only the greatest of minds have even a hope of passing through them, and even for them, survival is not a certainty."

"Your goal is to reach us as quickly as possible. Be warned, that the gauntlet we have constructed contains a countless number of puzzles and challenges. You'll need to use all of the knowledge you've gained through your experience at Hogwarts in order to pass them all."

"We shall await the swiftest of you. Good luck."

With a theatrical bow, the Twins exited through a door to the right, awaiting the arrival of the best and brightest.

The majority of the participants immediately moved into the gauntlet. They moved with speed rarely seen in Hogwarts to start surmounting the obstacles set up by the most devious minds in Hogwarts in recent memory.

Within seconds, the room was mostly deserted, leaving behind a scant few, who simply looked around in bewilderment.

"It can't be that simple, can it?" Padma asked, the gears in her mind turning as she began looking dubiously at the door the Twins had used. She exchanged looks with Hermione, neither of them willing to be the first to risk embarrassment at being wrong.

"Why not?" Another asked.

Luna didn't bother to respond, simply walking through the door without a care in the world. A few moments later, with the uncertainty broken, the rest of them followed. They stepped into the nearly empty room, and saw the Twins casually sitting at a table, passing a bottle of Firewisky between them.

"That's against school rules." Hermione said reflexively.

"You've known us for years Hermione, do you really think that we care about rules?"

Hermione flushed, and the Twins looked over the significantly smaller group.

"Anyone else behind you?" They shook their heads.

"Alright George, we'll accept the first two or three who make it through the gauntlet, but after that, it looks like we can eliminate the rest of those blokes."

"Eliminate them?" Hermioen asked in surprise, "But they're running the gauntlet! Surely that's a better judge for who the most intelligent are!"

"If you think so, then why didn't you run it with them?" Fred asked. Hermione looked down in response, only glancing back up once George began to speak.

"We didn't tell them to run the gauntlet. We told them to get to us as quickly as possible. They're just a bit too smart for their own good."

"Very true brother mine. It doesn't matter how smart you are if you can't read between the lines and see the solution right in front of you." The brothers grinned at each other, before clinking their glasses together, and glancing back at the still surprised participants.

George's grin widened, "Fancy a drink?"


	13. Achievements in Igneous

**Hey guys, I know I said I would post this last week, but due to a sudden computer meltdown, I ended up losing a decent part of this chapter, so I had to rewrite it. Fortunately, a lot of my stuff was backed up, but I did lose some things, generally the newer stuff I've been working on, so set backs all around. I might be able to retrieve some of it when I take my old computer in to get checked out, but I'll have to wait and see how that goes.**

**But enough about me! Enjoy the story!**

**_The Application Process_**

**_Achievements in Igneous_**

"Rocks?" Harry asked skeptically, looking at the large sack of stones. The twins had dragged in behind them.

"Intelligent Rocks, Harry. That's one of the important qualities they have." Fred grinned.

'Wouldn't be interesting if they were just regular rocks, now would it?' George added, with an identical smile on his face.

"But still... rocks?" Harry asked again, still not convinced.

Fred sighed, "Listen Harry. You have no idea how hard we worked on this."

"Really. Took us hours of research and enchanting." George said.

"Poured our blood, sweat, and tears into it." Fred nodded.

"And you're just going to reject it out of hand?" George asked Harry.

"Alright, alright! I'll give it a shot." Harry surrendered, causing the twins to grin.

"Great to hear it Harry, now you'll need to be the one to activate them. They're designed to attune to whoever turns them on first, and no one else."

"Wait, how do you know they only work for whoever turns them on?" Harry asked out of curiosity.

"We tested a couple of prototypes."

"They... didn't work out so well." Fred admitted, surreptitiously covering a few burn marks.

"But this one is fine!"

"Not finished, but fine."

"It's not going to explode, at any rate." George promised.

"Probably." Fred trailed off into uncomfortable silence.

Harry looked at the pile of rocks before him uneasily, the Twins' assurances doing nothing to calm his rising trepidation.

"So how many of these did you make?" Harry asked, looking around for anything lurking in the corners.

"Just this one."

"Really? You normally have three candidates for this sort of thing."

"Well, we decided to go for quality over quantity." George said.

"We combined all three archetypes, Brain, Beauty, and Brawn into one package." Fred added.

"It took a bit more work, but once we get everything finished, I think the final product will be much more impressive."

"Alright, so what do I do?"

"Just point your wand at it, give it a jab, and say: 'Activos.'" Fred said, mining the action.

Harry gave them a look, before dutifully doing as he was told.

"Nothing happened." he said flatly.

"Well, it's still in its test mode. We didn't want it flying off on it's own. But now that's its attuned, we can show what we have so far."

"Flying?" Harry asked, before noticing the gleam in their eyes, ""No, wait!"

"Combine!" Fred shouted, and the rocks leaped towards Harry. The young wizard flinched, but his fears went unrealized, as the rocks swirled around him, before slowly falling into place, creating a protective suit around him. Harry's arms were forcibly lifted up, as more rocks flew towards the newly exposed flesh. Within seconds, Harry was completely cloaked in rocks, save for his head.

"Looks like we're a few rocks short for the head." George noted.

"We need to look into a few more enchantments so he can see and hear through the rocks first." Fred answered.

Right, right. Well, it is a work in progress. Just wanted to show Harry what we had so far."

"Of course, brother."

"Anyways Harry, in this form, the rocks act as a protective suit against attacks. They also augment your strength and speed."

"You're fast enough to catch a pixie, and strong enough to lay out a giant. It will take some time to adjust to it, but I think you'll enjoy the final results."

Harry attempted to moved, only to find himself stumbling.

"It will take some time to get used to how it moves. Until then, you'll probably be a mite clumsier than you're used to."

"It feels like trying to walk through water." Harry said as he just barely kept from tripping.

"Not a bad way to think of it. It's trying to decide if it should move with or against you right now. That's why sometime it will fight against you, and other times it will overcompensate and overdo it. Don't worry. We've got some more work we need to do with it, which should smooth things out a bit." Fred assured Harry.

"I think that's enough for now, don't you agree, brother mine?" George asked, and with a nod of assent from his twin, the rocks fell away from Harry, before gathering into a pile and moving away from him.

"Alright, so you've seen the Brawn, how about the Beauty?" George said. Harry nodded in agreement, and the Twin waved their wands.

Harry watched silently as the rocks joined together and began to warp. Their rough edges smoothed, the gaps between them were filled, and slowly, a humanoid form began to take shape.

Harry stared, as the large collection of rocks Fred and George had given to him took the form of a girl. An extremely attractive, naked girl.

"She's not fully functioning yet. We still need to do a bit more enchanting for that, but she can walk around, talk a bit, and is strong enough to wrestle a hippogriff." George listed off some of the features of this mode, heedless of Harry's shocked state.

"S-she's naked!" Harry nearly shouted.

"Harry, don't be such a prude."

"It's a statue. Like the Venus de Milo. Or David. No need to be so uptight about it."

Harry didn't reply, merely turning red as he glanced over at the nude statue, which smiled at him, and winked. "

"That's just the bare bones persona we designed for it. It can't do much more than smile, walk around, and say a few words, but it's better than just standing around like a statue."

"But it is a statue!" Harry protested.

"Harry, you'll hurt her feelings!" George exclaimed.

"She may be a statue, but she's still a person!" Fred joined his brother, and the Beauty form of their latest project drooped as she gave Harry a tearful look.

"S-sorry!" Harry said, uncertain what the proper way to react was, nervously bowing his head in apology to the animated statue. His contriteness seemed to satisfy her, and she smiled, before bounding forward to wrap him in a hug.

Harry froze up. The very small part of his mind that remained functioning noted that her body didn't feel anything like stone.

"Aside from improving it's ability to communicate, one of the major attributes we want to imbue it will is some sort of ability to change color." Fred began listing their future plans for the Beauty.

"Like a chameleon." George chipped in.

"This will allow it to appear more human and blend in a bit better, as well as adding another element of realism."

"We'll probably upgrade its morphic properties as well, so it can shape shift to a degree. Not enough to turn into something completely different, but looking like someone else wouldn't be too difficult."

"I don't know if we can get it to mimic individuals precisely, but we're certainly going to try!"

"What do you think Harry?" George asked, unaware that Harry was still effectively paralyzed.

"I... don't think he's listening to us." Fred said, noticing Harry's dumbstruck expression as their project continued to nuzzle him affectionately.

"Alright, that's enough. You'll have plenty of time with Harry later." George said. The statue pouted at him for a moment, but released the dark haired wizard, much to his relief.

"Well, there isn't much more to show you about this mode, so I think it best that we move on." Fred said hastily, waving his wand.

Harry let out an audible sigh of relief as the naked female returned to a pile of rocks.

"Alright, you showed me the Beauty and the Brawn. I'm not sure I should be asking this, but what about the Brains?" Harry said, worriedly glancing between the twins and the rocks. After seeing the Beauty they had crafted, he wasn't sure what to expect for the Brains.

The twins shared an uneasy glance with each other.

"Well, we're still working out the details for that." George admitted.

"As we already mentioned, the speech function isn't quite finished, so it can't communicate what it knows to you effectively." Fred said.

"Of course, the real problem is getting it to learn the information that you could use. Created intelligences tend to be... not so intelligent. At least for the first few iterations. We're doing what we can, and the fact that it isn't really 'alive' makes things a bit easier, but it's going to take some time before we work out all of the bugs." George continued.

"We'll probably finish up the Beauty aspect first, and use that as a baseline for the Brains persona."

"You like the sexy librarian look, right Harry?"

"Well, he certainly enjoyed the sexy part of it." Fred sniggered, as Harry turned red once again.

"Can you at least show it to me?"

"All right..." said, before a quick wave of the wand created a featureless humanoid. Unlike the Beauty, it didn't move at all.

"Like we said, there's still quite a lot of work to do on this mode. Right now it's basically just a walking, talking encyclopedia" Fred said.

"Without the walking. Or talking." George admitted.

"The only thing it can really do is display a particular book" Fred said, before turning to face the golem, "Display Basic Spells, Volume One."

Dutifully, it's chest warped, taking on the vague appearance of a book. Words appeared upon it, and when he looked closer, harry could actually make out the formula for the mending charm he had learned back in first year."

"Like we said, the Brains aspect is by far the least developed. It's basically a book in another form right now." Fred told Harry.

"At least the Brawn is fully functional." George said brightly, before gesturing with his wand. The rocks quickly flew back to Harry, once again girding him for battle.

"Before we go any further, I have to ask, how do I get this off?" Harry said, looking down at the suit of armor they had crafted, "I can't just go looking for you whenever I need to take this on or off, can I?

"Excellent point Harry!" George exclaimed.

"Just say 'Dea Culpex.'" Fred answered.

"Dea Culpex!" Harry repeated, and the rocks immediately fell down around him, before moving back into a pile.

"Right. Now you just need to say. "'Activos' to get it to activate in Brawn Mode."

"If you want it to activate in Brains, say: 'Activos Intelligos'. For Beauty: 'Activos Attravos.' Switching over to Brawn mode requires you to say: 'Sledgios.' Switching to Brain or Beauty, you just say the second word in the activation phrase."

Harry nodded, and began testing the phrases, watching as the rocks rose up, took a form, then collapsed, before rising up again in a new form.

As the twins watched him test out their latest experiment, Fred spoke up, "We're still working on the range of it, but as long as you can see it, it shouldn't be a problem."

"So, what are all those bells and whistles you were talking about?" Harry asked, as the rocks reformed into the large, apparently harmless pile between them.

"Well, obviously we want to improve it's ability to communicate. It's not much use as Brain or Beauty when it can't talk. We're also working on a color changing function so the Beauty can look a bit more realistic instead of just gray." George said.

"As for Brawn mode, we want to add a helmet in for you, so you'll have full protection."

"Probably a way to use magic without your wand as well. I don't see it standing up too well against the added strength we gave you. If we can't get that to work, some sort of energy blast is possible."

"Maybe a flight function? And the morphic properties of the Beauty to smooth it out a bit? Make it looks a bit more intimidating?" Fred asked his brother.

"We could probably adapt the color shifting we've been planning for the Beauty form to it too. He looks pretty drab in all that gray." George said thoughtfully.

"Gryffindor colors? Red and gold?" Fred mused.

"Sounds good, but we should probably add in a camouflage function as well. We don't want Harry getting killed because he was too flamboyant."

"Good thinking, but I think that can wait until everything is is taken care of. Blending in is a bit more difficult than standing out.."

"True enough. Brains is where we have to most work to do. It's difficult to create something intelligent using magic, unless you spend years researching the subtle nuances of the mind and studying the thought patterns of people or whatever creature you want to emulate."

"We're going to try and give it a magical dictionary and encyclopedia, and allow the persona we're crafting to access it freely. Once we get that working, we'll try to add in some spell books to give you a decent range of spells for the competition."

"We'll probably have to give it some way of casting its own spells as well. As much as I like Harry, even he would have difficulty casting a spell he just learned in the middle of a fight."

"True. The Brains is the most complicated part of the whole project, so it's going to take a lot more work before we get everything working right, and that's not even factoring in how it would interact with the other aspects. Like we've been saying, this is still a work in progress."

"So, what do you call it?" Harry asked, watching as the rocks reform into an innocuous pile. The twins pulled out their own wands, and levitated them, moving them back into the bag they had brought them in.

"Well we haven't decided on a name just yet." Fred said, checking that they hadn't missed any of the rocks.

"We figured you would want to be the one to name it, since it's going to be your pile of rocks after all." George continued, tying the bag shut and hefting it over his shoulder.

"But in the mean time, we've been calling it Vera."


	14. The Incredibly Angry Redhead

Nothing to say this time around. Working on Harry Potter and Childish Things, so hopefully I'll have something by the end of the month. In th emeantime, I have a couple of other ideas for this story to help keep me writing.

Thanks to Guest who reviewed fast enough that I could squeeze in a quick, last second spell check before I went to work. I doubt that I caught all of them, but hopefully it improved the quality.

Apologies for any remaining typos, errors, or anything else that detracts from the story. Hop you enjoy!

**_The Application Process_**  
**_The Incredibly Angry Redhead_**

"Are you sure about this?" Ron asked his older brothers as they handed him a well worn tome.

"Of course Ron. While we do do our best to have fun, you're still family, so the least we could do is give you a fighting chance." George said with an easy smile.

"Really, it's our fault for not giving you advanced notice." Fred apologized.

"Hermione got some after all, since she helped organize this project, and we can't be showing favoritism like that." George continued.

"So consider this book a bit of a boost towards keeping your position."

"It's titled 'Effective, but Dangerous. Deadly Draughts Your Enemies Would Fear to Use. for the' " Ron said, fighting the urge to put the book down and run.

"Well, if it was something that everyone would use, then it wouldn't be much of an advantage, now would it Ron?"

"I guess, but couldn't you have given me something without Deadly in the title?"

"Ron, you've gone to face You-Know-Who twice. I think you can handle a little deadly."

Ron opened his mouth to protest, but the twins were already well on their way, leaving him holding the heavy book. With a heavy sigh, Ron resigned himself to the course presented to him, dragged the book to the library, and began to read.

**_Applications_**

Ron read through the book carefully, especially the lengthy disclaimer stating the author was not liable for any injuries or damages caused by failing to follow the procedures outlined in the recipes. It was nearly as long as the one absolving them of any quilt for following the direction precisely. While it did fill him with some degree of trepidation, he realized that h didn't have time to play it safe and go research something else. With a deep sigh, Ron resigned himself to his fate as he browsed through the book, hoping to find something useful.

"Red Potion of Wrath. First of the Seven Sins Collection..." Ron murmured to himself, glancing over the effects of the potion. He hesitated, before checking to see what ingredients he had available at the moment. Realizing he had most of them, he decided to go grab his cauldron. There was supposed to be a brief visit to Hogsmead, and if he timed it right, the cauldron would be ready to boil by the time he got back from picking up the last few ingredients.

Of course, there was still the problem of where to get the cash...

"Listen, I need a few galleons for potion ingredients." Ron said, as he entered the Gryffindor common room.

"No." George answered immediately, not even looking up from the pile of papers in front of him.

"But you don't understand! It's for that application process of yours!"

"We already gave you enough help with that. You're on your own now." Fred said.

"Oh, I see how it is. You're willing to 'help' me by giving me something that's far more likely to get me killed, but when I ask for a few galleons to make it actually happen, you show your true colors."

"Ron, that's not the way it is..."

"No, that's exactly how it is. It's the same way it's always been. You pretend to lend me a hand just so I fall harder. "

"Ron..."

"Don't deny it!" on nearly shouted, causing the Twins to take a step back.

"Alright! Here's a few galleons, if it will get you off our back!" one of them said, fishing in his pocket.

"Are we square now?" The other asked.

"It's a start. Just stop jerking me around all the time." Ron said, quickly grabbing the coins before stalking off, leaving his somewhat upset brothers behind him.

As Ron walked away, he suppressed a grin. While he might not be the most cunning of the Weasley Clan, he could still manipulate his family on occasion. He waited until he was sure the portrait had closed behind him and he was out of their hearing range, and began whistling to himself he headed towards the carriages, and then it was off to Hogsmead. He knew it was only a matter of time before they regained their steam and realized they had been played, but in the meantime, he enjoyed the rare feeling of one upping his older brothers.

**_Applications_**

The process of acquiring ingredients didn't take to long, so Ron spent most of the Hogsmead visit relaxing with his friends. However, as soon as they made their way back to Hogwarts, he sequestered himself with the book, his cauldron, and his potion ingredients.

The brewing process didn't take too long. The instructions were fairly simple compared to some of the recipes Snape had given them. Ron quickly found himself in possession of a small vial of nuclear red potion. He gave it a quick sniff, and the stench of burning hair and rotten eggs filled his nose.

Ron winced, but raised the still bubbling concoction to his lips, before downing it in a single gulp. He tensed up, bracing himself for the effects it had detailed. Idly, he was glad that he had chosen such a secluded room in the castle, so that he wouldn't cause too much trouble if it worked the way it was supposed to, turning him into a juggernaut of destruction.

Though a part of him wished he remembered where the bathroom was.

A minute passed, then two, then five, and nothing happened.

"Hm... I don't think it worked." Ron said to himself, somewhat disappointed. "I guess I'll look for another potion..." he groaned to himself, before packing his things up and heading back toward the Gryffindor Common Room. The night promised to pass peacefully, and he had elected to spend it searching for a new potion to prepare him for his application, but two of his fellow Gryffindors had other plans.

"Working hard Ron? That's something new." Seamus commented as he and Dean walked over to join him.

"Worried about losing you place in Harry's crew? I can understand that."

"Don't worry Ron, I'll be a good friend to Harry. Probably even better than you were." Seamus said, a big grin on his face.

"Not that you set the bar too high." Dean sniggered.

Ron turned red. The crimson coloring started from the roots of his hair, and spread down his face, then through his body. Seeing his new coloring his roommates only laughed harder. Unfortunately, it didn't stop there. The red permeated Ron's very being, interacting with the latent potential of the Potion of Wrath to cause an incredible transformation.

Ron's body began to contort, as muscles he never had before formed within seconds, stretching his skin painfully tight. Blood pumped furiously through his veins, even as the arteries leading to his head constricted, shutting down his higher brain functions. His bones swelled up, greatly increasing his height until he was hunched over, back pressed against the ceiling. In his mind, everything ceased to exist, replaced with a red fog of rage.

In essence, Ron was gone. His Ego and Superego suppressed leaving nothing but the furious rage of his id, in a body perfectly designed to vent that rage on the world around him. He looked around the suddenly smaller room, before his gaze settled on the two boys he had been talking to.

Seamus and Dean stared in fear and horror at the angry monster in front of them. As the creature that used to be Ron advanced towards them, their minds raced to try and figure a way out.

"Listen Ron, you know we were just joking around." Dean tried to backpedal. Seamus didn't waste any time trying to soothe the savage beats, instead sprinting for the portrait frame. The beastly boy attempted to catch him, but his increased height made pursuit difficult. Seamus made it, shutting the portrait frame behind him securely.

"Seamus, how could you, you bastard!" Dean shouted at the back of the portrait.

"Good luck buddy!" came the muffled reply.

"Traitor!"

"GRARRGH!" Ron howled, redirecting his attention to the only remaining target. Dean immediately saw his life flash before his eyes, and began praying as his eyes desperately searched for an escape.

Again, Ron's size worked against him, making it difficult for him to walk around the room. The furniture also served to slow him, allowing Dean enough time to scamper up the stairs, which were fortunately too narrow for the transformed Ron to follow him up. Ron clawed fruitlessly at the staircase for a few moments, before giving up in frustration.

Denied any living targets, the beast turned upon the inanimate furniture of the Gryffindor Common Room.

**_Applications_**

"You feeling alright mate?" Ron moaned as a disembodied voice floated through his head. He struggled to open his eyes, and after several long, blurry moments, he recognized the concerned face of his friend, Harry.

"Ugh... yeah, though you would not believe the headache I've got." Ron groaned as he struggled to his feet.

"Must have been some party last night."

"There wasn't a party." Hermione said flatly.

"No party? Then why is the Common Room trashed, and I can't remember anything?" Ron asked, rubbing his temples in a futile effort to dispel the raging pain in his skull.

"Well, as far as we can tell, you kind of lost it last night." Harry said.

"What!?" Ron shouted, immediately wincing at the increased pain the loud noise caused.

"According to Dean, you transformed into a raging red monster and tried to kill him. When he got away you took it out on the common room." Hermione said.

"But that's crazy. I mean, I won't deny I've got a temper, but turning into a monster?" Ron asked, before suddenly paling.

"Ron..." Hermione began, recognizing the look of dawning horror on his face.

"You'd best get your story straight, mate. Lavender already went running off to find McGonagall. I'd guess you have about five minutes." Harry said, oblivious to the furious look in Hermione's eye beside him.

"I... may have... tried a potion out that could have these effects..." Ron admitted slowly.

"Ronald!"

"I should probably go to the Hospital Wing..." Ron said, "I think I drank something I really shouldn't have..."

"We'll go with you. Just let me grab my cloak and we should be able to get by McGonagall." harry said, already walking up to the boy's dormitory.

It wasn't too difficult to avoid McGonagall or anyone else on their trip to the Hospital Wing. They quickly hid Ron under Harry's invisibility cloak, and used the Marauder's Map to avoid McGonagall, the other teachers, and prefects. It wasn't exactly easy, but it was done in short order. That only left one remaining trial.

Explaining what he had done to Madame Pomphrey.

**_Applications_**

"Honestly, Mister Weasley, I don't know what was going through your head when you drank a potion as dubious as that!" Madame Pomphrey lectured the young red head.

"Sorry. Is there anything you can do to fix it?" Ron asked.

"Fix it? I'm not even sure what it does! I can't find a record of this book anywhere in the library! Where on earth did you acquire something like this?"

"I got it from my brothers. I think they might have picked it up a few years back in Egypt." Ron admitted, wincing as the witch turned bright red, and glared at him.

"Wonderful, not only using a book you've never seen before, but one that comes from the place known for their twisted magics. You are to give me this book immediately, so I can begin to see if there is any type of solution for this condition of yours!"

"Yes ma'am." Ron said meekly. Pomphrey watched him like a hawk as

"Well, off to class with you, while I try to figure out away to fix this mess you cooked up for yourself."

"Yes ma'am." Ron said, before quickly making his way out of the hospital wing.

"And for heavens sake, keep your temper in check!" She shouted after him.

**_Applications_**

Fortunately, the day went rather placidly for the most part. The Gryffindors did their level best to avoid bothering Ron, the carnage of the common room still fresh in their minds. The classes with Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, the other students followed their example. Some had already heard the rumors, and other just didn't have any reason to upset Ron.

However, the last class of the day was Potions.

"Mr. Weasley, you're late." Snape sneered, barely glancing away from the blackboard, "Five points from Gryffindor."

Ron began to protest, but a warning look from Hermione silenced him. Instead, he contented himself with a glare at Snape's back, before he took a seat beside Harry.

The class proceeded in a similar fashion. Snape would continually pick at Ron's foul mood, which provoked the young Weasley, only for Harry or Hermione to calm him down before he could do something foolish. Each time, it took longer, and it was harder to keep control of himself.

Finally, he reached the breaking point.

"Ten points for your appalling attempt at a potion, Mr. Weasley." Snape said with a sneer, completely oblivious to the mental state of the unstable Gryffindor.

"GRAAARGH!" Ron roared in response, bodily picking up their desk, cauldrons and all, and hurling it at the Slytherin Head of House. Snape barely had time to erect a feeble shield spell before he was knocked back. While he was, for the most port, unharmed, he was now trapped beneath the desk, and out of sight of the raging redhead.

"RRAAGH!" Ron screamed. His primary target for his rage vanished form sight, Ron turned to the next readily available target. Harry, having some experience with Ron's new "anger management" issues, had already made good his escape, as had a number of Gryffindors. This left the Slytherins in a very dire situation.

Ron, blinded by his insatiable rage, turned on them. There was a brief moment, where everything crystallized in complete comprehension and understanding. In this fraction of a second, the Slytherins realized that now was the time for Fight or Flight.

"STUPEFY!" Malfoy shouted, but the stunner had no effect on the furious wizard merely serving to give him a clear target. The seething mass of fury hurled itself at the unfortunate Slytherin, who only had time to let out a terrified squeak before he was seized and used as an inprovised bludgeoning device. However foolish the action was, it bought the rest of his house precious seconds to get out of the line of fire, and into the relative safety of the hallway. Those few who decided to remain so close to the kill zone were treated to a highly entertaining, destructive show as Ron rampaged through the classroom, knocking over scalding hot cauldrons which only served to fuel his fury. Eventually, he broke down the door to Snape's office, and the potion ingredients within. As the countless jars were shattered and haphazardly mixed together, they rapidly combined into several volatile compounds, each of them exploding in turn and showering him with their still potent ingredients.

Needless to say, in addition to whatever effects such extreme exposure would have on a person, this did not improve his mood in the slightest.

Outside of the classroom, most of the remaining students noticed that Ron was rapidly running out of things to destroy, and quickly moved far away from the only way out of the classroom.

Most of them.

The fools were fortunately spared when Ron ignored the doorway, instead choosing to crash his way thought eh solid stone wall, into the thankfully empty classroom beyond. Ron continued to tear through Hogwarts, heedless of the ever increasing damage he was inflicting to its structural integrity. With each wall, Hogwarts inched closer the the point of no return, when the walls would fail to upport the massive weigth and come crashing down, crushing anyoen unfortunate enough to be within, including the entire student body.

Fortunately, before he could do any permanent damage, his fury ran its course, and the now completely exhausted redhead collapsed unconscious, as his body attempted to recover from the extreme activity.

Again, Ron emerged from his violent episode with only a vague idea of what had happened. Despite the congratulations a number of his housemates gave him, once he was informed of what it was he had done, Ron had the grace to be embarrassed and ashamed.

Sadly, this quickly proved to be the norm of Ron's new life. Every time he transformed, his fuse got shorter and shorter, until even the slightest of inconveniences, such as stubbing his toe, was enough to send him into a potion fueled tantrum. It quickly reached the point where he was exempt form class, while Madam Pomphrey tried to come up with a cure for his new condition.

As the nurse struggled to cure something completely outside of her purview, the instigators of the problem convened to come up with their own solution.

**_Applications_**

"We really can't have him rampaging around the school." George stated the obvious.

"It was funny the first couple of times, especially when he got Snape, but now it's just causing problems." Fred agreed with his other half.

"The only issue is finding a way to keep him from having another episode. Pomphrey's looking into the usual books for a solution, so any idea for an unusual solution?"

"Nothing comes to mind right now. I'd say the same book we gave him, but Pomphrey's already looking for solutions in that."

"Thanks to Bagman, we don't have any money to go buying books at random"

"The Restricted Section?" Fred suggested.

"Pince won't even let us in the library after our last joke at her expense."

"She's always been overprotective of her books. Loves them more than life itself."

"So how are we going to keep him calm?" George wondered, "We can't have him flipping out like this at the drop of a hat."

"The same way people have always kept their calm." Fred answered, "Firewhiskey."

"You want to make him a lush? Why not Occlumency or something like that?"

"You think he'll have the patience to learn something like that? This isn't a long term solution, just something to keep him from going berserk while we try to figure out a solution."

George sighed in resignation, as he nodded in agreement, "Firewhiskey it is then. I just hope he doesn't turn out to be an angry drunk."

Fred gulped, "Well, at least his aim won't be as good..."


End file.
